


Freak Like Me

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Droids, F/M, Flashbacks, Jakku, Jedi Ben Solo, Light Sadism, Multiple Planets, Power Dynamics, Power Play, Robots, Sith Empire, Sith Rey, Young Rey, three year age gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7890922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stars are only visible in darkness,<br/>And this one,<br/>It blinds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Battle Begins

As a girl, she had earned the name Phoenix, because she had been taken from her home, to a room of red. Where she was burned to ashes, and from the ashes came a cruel young woman, an Empress, Kira Palpatine. A woman who's vice was power. 

At ten, she had taken control of the a large number of Force Users and earned their trust, encouraged them to use their powers to how they liked as they learned from books and old hollows, she had found dark side enthusiasts and brought them in to teach as well. No doubt the name Palpatine helped her gain such respect. 

At fifteen, she had her own group of stormtroopers, an annoying general, and a team working on a ship. 

And now at twenty, she was amassing the largest arsenal in the world.

No one could say that a Palpatine wasn't proficient at his or her job. 

No one could say she wasn't good at making an enterance either.  Today, she was to land on Yavin IV with her compatriots, and as she readied with Phasma and her knights she could feel a childish excitement climbing in her throat at the prospect of a challenge. "What are you thinking about, Master?" Gethzerion II asked. She was like a bird, her voice chirped sweetly until she sunk her claws into you. 

"The padawans she's going to kill," another Sith trainee added.

"Idiots," Phasma interjected before Kira could, "The Empress doesn't kill children, she recruits them, as she recruited you no less. And she doesn't talk to anyone before a battle."

"Yeah why doesn't she do that? Talk, I mean." The ship began to rattle violently as they began to break they broke the atmosphere.

_Focus._

Everyone else was silent after that, the girls who had shown the best in their training modeling themselves after the Empress, watching exactly how she breathed, how she sharpened two crystal knives and dipped them in a clear liquid before putting them in sheathes up her black sleeves. A last resort. And finally, how she unsheathed her double bladed saber minutes before they had even landed. Kira could sense the other stormtroopers and shadowtroopers landing, already among the trees and waiting in the shadows of the temple of Exar Kun. 

She couldn't help but smile, all that power brimming and buzzing on the surface of such a historical landmark. Her eyes closed as she searched for more, for the brightest of the filfth on the planet. 

Her call was simple, it was her pain, and her anguish, her recruiting style. 

Her call was the reason she had the daughter of Gethzerion with her. The most powerful in the universe, besides her.

Her call was answered.

* * *

 A memory;

When Ben Solo had first been whisked away to Yavin IV, he had almost turned the tin can that was the Millennium Falcon into rubble as they tried to take off. His screams illicted damage in the engines that were replaceable, but warranted them stopping in a primitive planet by the name of Jakku. 

They told him to stay behind them, to not do anything and most of all, do not use the Force, for the scavengers on Jakku were a jumpy, hostile group. 

But he had other ideas. His heart already jaded by the aspect of leaving his mother's side, his pain called out.  _Help me._

 Someone responded,  _Who's there?_

 

* * *

 

 To win a battle one must dance, and they must dance well. Kira remembered seeing one of her sith trainees in a theatre, a ballerina and a slave. She was beautiful and half silver. A young girl made out of parts of scrap with enough energy in her body to knock out a building. Strong with the force, yet dead in her eyes as all dancing slaves were. She remembered her dancing, an art lost by the dregs of war, over men who were not grateful for her talent, only wanting to waste their times with an underage girl before they went back home to useless lives. The girl danced until Kira was sure her toes bled. For her toes to bleed no more, the Empress required her to dance one last time. She ordered a dance and paid double for her. Lumiya she was called. The dancer's eyes flickered with surprise, maybe at her gender, or maybe at how young she was. But she got closer to her, her hot breath close to Rey's face. She danced a line between the dark and the light, a new kind of destructiveness. With a hand locked in the dancer's hair and her lips on her neck, she told her of the power inside her, and asked her to show her how to dance. The new art of war.

* * *

 

Kira stiffened as she walked out onto the battlefield, that call making her gravitate off the path of the Jedi Knights. She split the group up. "Lumiya and Phasma with me, Geth and Kun, Aleema and Raynar. We meet back at the Phoenix, no acceptions. No mourners, no funerals," she shouted over the chaos. The Force rippled through the air, and before the stormtroopers moved closer there was a large crack, and the trees in their way that could've hid the Jedi disintegrated.

"No mourners, no funerals." 

"Kill the Knights and masters, keep the Padawans alive for my picking."

Power. 

It awaited for her.

 


	2. Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben meets Kira for the first time.

"When power pulls you one way, you must go to it with caution, Master. Do not try and control it blindly like your grandfather." For the first time, Kira felt a little jumpy. The Jedi dwelling was in sight, just over the hill and they were covered by Lumiya's use of the Force, bending the light around them, but something was wrong. That call was too familiar, and so was this place. She shook it from her head as they continued to move forwards. 

They were stopped by a Jedi Master. "I can see you," he said. Skywalker. There was no point in camouflage now, as he ignited his lightsaber. "You will not get what you're coming for." He paused for a second when he saw her. 

_Rey?_

That gave Lumiya time to strike and knock the saber out of his hands with her bullwhip. "Go, Skywalker is mine." Phasma and Kira kept running, and Kira wondered why he had said this. Rey. Maybe a girl long gone that looked like her, who knows. 

"The stormtroopers have taken the building." Phasma said. "Do you wish for me to go command them?"

"Do your job, I will join you." 

* * *

 

There is a creature coming. It is all too familiar, it's force signature too kind, too knowing. It calls to him.

He could swear that whoever it was, he had known before. Ben knew that he must flee.

But he could sense it's power.

It drew him closer.

The signature grew stronger.

And the chance at power grew greater.

* * *

Lumiya had studied all of the holos that had recorded the Skywalker's line of scum. Learned their ways of fighting. Anakin to Ben. She knew them all. But Luke, she wanted him.

The old man had sought her out in her cavern a few years before Kira had showed up and given her home. 

He wanted her to become a Jedi, use her powers exclusively for good, or the light. 

She didn't want a teacher that would hold her to that standard. 

When she had said no, he had made a point very clear to her. He had told her that she was going to squander the rest of her days in slavery. That she wouldn't amount to the greatness the Force promised her. 

  _Look at me now, Skywalker._

She had a weapon unlike any other. A whip made of pure energy that she handled like a deadlier version of her dancing ribbons. She feinted to the left as Luke moved right with his lightsaber, and with a flick of her wrist, snapped her whip. A buzzing crack lashed out through the air. The old Jedi narrowly missed it and she moved her wrist right along where he was moving him, the lash hitting him on the back, the tip snaked away in another deadly arch as he turned and moved the other way. His lightsaber back in his hand. "You're going to have to do better than that," the Jedi Master said. The girl could tell he was in pain.

"Oh trust me, you haven't seen anything yet."

* * *

 

The cracked halls of the Jedi were whispering with unsung tales of the force. 

There was power to be had in both sides of the Force, as Kira knew well. 

 She was smart, and not blinded by belief as much as her grandfather had been. The secrets the light held were to be studied as much as the dark. 

Which is why she walked down the hallways that looked so familiar and searched for the power that had answered her, until she was stopped by a small BB-8 unit droid. "Get out of my way, I'm not going to hurt you." She said. And she had meant it too. The droid looked no older than three years old at most, there was no point to dismantling it. But it stood there, and beeped furiously. She moved out of the way before it zapped her with a small burst of electricity and seized it with the Force, pushing it gently behind a large wall of cargo boxes that boxed it in to a prison, before she moved forwards. 

The Force Signature was getting stronger with every step, and Kira had to remember her own to stop herself from drowning in it. 

_Come to me, I will not hurt you._

She could almost see it's face. A boy, maybe three years older than her at most. A petulant, but handsome face, and a body that towered well over hers. 

_I feel your pain._

_I feel your loneliness._

_I wish to end that._

She heard a shuffling if feet and then a breath caught.

A click of a lightsaber. Kira ducked as the boy began to charge her from behind. She put him in a Force hold. "Hello, there you are." 

"Who- Who's that?" He managed to get out. Kira felt him pushing back, and restrained him harder. 

"That is of no matter to you, Ben Solo." She said. His back stiffened, even though Kira had him restrained she could feel him tensing. 

"-Rey, is that you?"

Who was this Rey they kept talking of? Kira had no clue. She giggled. "I have no clue who this  _Rey_ girl you speak of. It's annoying, two Jedi tonight have spoken of this. But alas, I will forgive you for that. You look like a worthy prize,"

* * *

 

Skywalker was choking on the ground, crackling energy dulled only a few clicks to make him suffer longer. His body seized and he fell to the ground. "I trust you enjoyed your play time?" Geth hissed at Lumiya.

"Why didn't you let me finish him?"

"Because we need to move out, the Empress has what she wants. She wants Skywalker is leverage too."

"How-?" Lumiya stared back at the Jedi dwelling, it was on fire. She swallowed, a tiny bit of envy in her blood as she wondered what would've been there if she had been there to destroy the building. For once, she missed the whole thing. 

****

* * *

 

The Empress didn't come out of the battle without a scratch. It was easy to see Phasma staring at her uneasily ad they boarded the ship.

They shared a link no one else shared.

_What happened?_

_The building exploded, metal grating._

_Are you going to go to the medbay as soon as we land?_

_Are you ordering your Empress around?_

_Maybe. It is my job to make sure you are safe and well taken care of._

_Your job is to take care  of the Stormtroopers. Not me._

_Still._

_I will. But you will alert me of the awakening of the Padawans, and the Skywalker line._

_Deal._

She clenched the side of her stomach, to still the bleeding. Just another scratch.

 


	3. Prisoners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will take Solo, Skywalker, and the Padawans, kill the others."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A mountain made of money can buy you a soul,"-Fucked Up World, The Pretty Reckless

Luke Skywalker woke up coughing and spluttering in a cage much more ominous and grand than the ones he was put in by his father so many years ago. Water dripped from the ceiling and mold was beginning to form on the floor beneath him. "Don't bother trying to use the Force," A voice said. "It is not with you here." 

"What-" There was none of that Jedi composure that came with studying the Force for years. 

"It is better if you don't talk, Skywalker, I have your Padawans and your nephew in my custody. You cannot squander their talents." 

_No true Sith would bother keeping me alive._

_You won't be for long. Leverage for surrender. Get used to it._

Luke steadied himself, gaining a small sense of calm that his Padawans, at least, were alive. No true Sith would've kept them for this Earth. If this- If Rey was this Empress, perhaps some of her personality still lied in her. He stood up, and turned to face her. 

This Empress. He did not dare speak her true name, he did not think it. But this Empress wore her face. Whatever happened to her, it had made her anew, 

 

"I will visit you tomorrow, we want to keep our leverage nice and fed isn't that right?"

* * *

 Ben Solo couldn't see more than two feet in front of him. His wrists clapped in restraints that kept absolutely still. Earlier, he had struggled against them, even used the Force to try and release himself from there hold, only to have them tighten even more. 

The door opened, and a figure walked in. "Mind telling me where the hell I am?" He asked. The figure did not respond. Only giggled. 

Suddenly he felt very self conscious, putting a barrier in his mind to keep whoever it was in the shadows from reading his mind.  _Keep calm. This will all be over soon. Do not react on fear._

"My master was right," a girl said. "It looks like you will be a worthy prize." She did not come out of the darkness. He could feel his barriers being scrubbed away harshly, yet very slowly, his thoughts were now open for her to see. "Your head is very weird, like my master."

"Yeah, whatever kid. I'm assuming you're a kid, because you sound like one. That still doesn't answer my question, where am I?"

"Why on the one and only StarKiller Base, the best of the best. You are her prize, and she wanted to give you the best of best."

"Gee, thanks."  _Master? What fucked up-_

Before he could finish his thought she walked out through the world and another girl walked through. "You must excuse Gethzorian, she likes to play with men. It's in her blood."  _Rey._

He froze, his body pushed back into the chair by a slight push of the Force. It couldn't be her. 

She had been missing for three years. 

He had counted the days... 

"Who are you?" 

"You may address me as Empress Palpatine, nothing more and nothing less. But that is not of concern for now, I wanted power, I found you. You will follow me."

"Sure, that's highly likely."

"I have seen your mind, when you were unconscious. I see your desires, you want to expand your studies to both sides of the Force. I will allow you to do that, encourage it even. After all, knowledge is power. Emotion and eagerness, are additives to better this." 

"And if I say no?"

"Simple, I kill someone. A padawan. Your uncle." She shrugged and a sense of calm filled him. It shouldn't have. 

"Kill my uncle, I don't care anyways."

Rey- or- The Empress, grinned. "With thinking like that... you would make an excellent Sith." Her cloak snapped as she turned to leave. "I shall ask you again in the morning, my prize. Until then, sleep on it."

* * *

 Kira had had enough of walking around and talking to Padawans. She got four yeses, four new students under her tutelage. 

That was enough for her, and the raw wound at the base of her stomach. She sat at her throne, stripping the purple fabric of her dress back and swallowed as she looked at the long and thin scratch that was now starting to look infected. 

"Kira!" Lumiya had come in right as she had done this. The girl always seemed to have the right timing. "I thought you went to the medbay," she ran forwards, straddling the Empress. "This would've become infected if you hadn't waited longer." She waved her hand and it was gone. The Empress said nothing, until Lumiya lightly touched the tips of her hair before looking away. "I would hate it if-" she stopped herself. "-you shouldn't do that, okay. Even Siths take care of themselves." _The Padawans seemed eager, all except for the darkest of them all._

"Why are you in here,  Lumiya?" _Ben had felt familiar. Why did he feel familar?_

"I-" Her smile faltered, "-I wanted permission to toy with Skywalker."  _The oldest Skywalker did not know he couldn't use the Force yet, he hasn't tried, give Ben a false sense of hope to join you._

"Let him have his rest, you can have him in an hour." Her thoughts were scattered, anywhere between the thoughts of the lost Rey, and Ben Solo's power. She wanted it for herself.

"Really?" She was like a happy child, eager to hurt.

"Yes,"

"Thank you,"

"Any reason you still have me under you?"

"Maybe I want to have a bit of fun," She giggled. 

"Later, I have things to discuss, people to conquer." Lumiya hopped off her lap. "Okay, see you." She addressed her informally, the only girl that could, and left. Her shoulders tense and her face melting back into that stone cold composure she got when she didn't get her way. 

Eventually Kira's eyes closed, and when she woke up,  she woke up to the words, "Ben Solo has escaped."

 


	4. You're Human Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We'll be your perfect family,"- Dollhouse, Melanie Martinez

"Ben Solo has escaped?" Phasma backed up as she jumped out of her chair, something that some of the students didn't have the sense to do, as she lashed out. The force manifested itself in one powerful crack!... moved down the hall at a fast pace, paying no attention to the struggling women on the floor, someone had complained about their ears bleeding, but her vision was narrowing and she didn't care to address them.

Rey moved down the hall at a fast pace, paying no attention to the struggling women on the floor, someone had complained about their ears bleeding, but her vision was narrowing and she didn't care to address them.

 _You made me wake up for this, give me a good fight.'_ She called out.

* * *

 

You woke me for this, give me a good fight. The words echoed in his mind as he moved throughout the hallways, trying to call out to the others, the padawans, he even tried Luke.

  
_Uncle? Are you there?_ Ben Solo never liked mentally communicating with his uncle,but he started to panic when there was no answer.

  
This time he was truly alone, and jumpy too. _Come out, come out, wherever you are._ Her words echoed in his head, louder than anyone he’d ever communicated with before. It sounded like she was right next to him.

_Uncle, please-?_

_I can hear your thoughts Ben Solo, the more you think the closer you are drawn to me._ It annoyed him. Her being able to break each barrier he put up without breaking a sweat. He decided to put this to use, he could be drawn to her and end this fight.

  
_Wishful thinking. I didn’t think you were so naive._ He stuck to the darkly lit hallways of StarKiller and avoided several groups of stormtroopers.

 _I have to say, you’re power is impressive,_ Ben started out. There was a pause. That connection that had been set up pulled slightly, and he hugged the west wing. _But_  
_you’re annoying._

 _I can live with that. Why don’t I come show you how annoying I am?_  
Hopefully, Rey-Kira- could feel his eyes rolling.

_I think I’ll pass. Is my uncle dead?_

_Straight to the point, I like it. Sadly I am not gifted in the craft of conciseness._  The Force thrummed with anticipation, and Ben could feel his pulse elevate. He liked it. The feeling of adrenaline. The power. It was intoxicating.

But he denied himself.

  
_You should not be afraid of power, Ben Solo._ That thrumming got harder, and Ben felt lightheaded. _It does not hurt to want, true, raw power. It something we all possess._  She was right, he stepped out into the hallway into plain sight.

The Empress at the other  
end of the hallway. “Power makes us stronger than humans, it makes us special. You have great potential. I could help you, I will forgive you trying to escape.”

“And if I say no?”

“I thought we already talked about that,”

“How about, you fight me? And if I win, I get to choose, if you win, you get to choose and another prize under your belt.”

  
“No,” She said, “I don’t think you could handle me. Even without my saber.”

  
“Wishful thinking, Empress.”

Something about that made her flinch, as he put up his fists, “Are you scared?”

 _Never_. She threw up her hands, and the Force bent to her will. A loud crack sounded through the hallway, and Ben felt his ears pop.

No one had ever taught him a trick like  
that. That pop had given her enough time to move in with one swift hit to the shoulder and a kick to the back. Ben stumbled, but feinted to the left just in time to catch her next punch, and twist her arm. She leaned into it, flipping herself over voluntarily and  
jutting out her hip. “Shit-” He shuffled along the blackened metal hallway, becoming increasingly aware of the girls and stormtroopers gathering at the end of it, to watch. There was no getting out of this if he won.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him to the ground, people cheered. “You pause too much,” He rolled just as she brought her foot down, narrowly missing his chest, and  
grabbed her other leg. Pulling her down with him. Her head hit the ground with a thunk. She was fast, and hard to pin. Even as they scrabbled around on the ground, she managed to outdo him. “We should really work on that when you become one of  
my apprentice!” She let out her hands again, and Ben felt very wary all the sudden.

Her power… there was something special about the abstract ways she thought of the Force. He reached for her, and fell a bit short, leaving himself open for a sharp kick to the ribs. The leather of her gloves stretched, along with her corset, as she cracked her  
knuckles and then her back. “Are you going easy on me?”

Each time he hit her, each time he tried to hate her, he had thought more and more about much he couldn't injure Rey. Ben remembered her words, 'I am not this Rey,' Maybe he should listen to them. 

* * *

 There was nothing better than a good fight at four am in the morning. Truth be told, Kira was not at all at her best, at first she had viewed this as a warm up. But as Ben Solo's hits got harder and she tired it out, it became more and more obvious she had underestimated his power. She struggled to keep her mind clear as he tried to rifle through it. 

He knew her moves. She knew his. They were equally matched until she began to tire out and he swept a leg under his, sweeping her off her feet. "Something wrong?" The Jedi Knight pinned her beneath him. There was nothing there but a small bit of humiliation, but she swept it aside.

"Yeah, you left my legs open." Kira wrapped her legs around him and twisted, grappling him to the ground and pinning him down. The girls cheered, so did some of the stormtroopers, until Hux began walking down the hallway. Everyone dispersed.

"Get back to your stations," he said stiffly. "I see your busy, Empress." 

 _You fight well._ Kira thought. 

_I want to be your equal._

_Then stay._

"Careful,  Hux, remember I promoted you because the last General thought he was irreplaceable."

_Is my uncle dead?_

_No._

_Are the Padawans?_

 "I am fully aware of that, I am still in charge of keeping this base from exploding, and that should be in your interest too. Sparring is for the training rooms."

_They have agreed to join me, they are being shown their rooms at this instant._

"You can stop stressing, it won't happen again." The Empress smirked, letting out a gloved hand for Ben Solo. 

 He took it. 

"I have places to be, if you would be so kind as to excuse me and this man, we have business to attend to. I'll speak with you later and brief you on certain  _plans."_

With that she pushed him out of the way and began pulling Ben down that hallway.  _First we have to get you out of those stupid Jedi robes._

 

 


	5. Anything You Say Can And Will Be Held Against You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everything is..." -Colors Pt II, Halsey

A memory;

She remembered being saturated in blue, a dress of silk covering her from head to toe in a room full of red. Her fingers were thin and spindly, cheeks hollowed out from lack of food. 

 _Do you know where you are? Please answer, we want to find you._ She remembered not recognizing the voice, and collapsing into a weeping mess.

She wanted to be rid of this voice. Of this place. The walls began to crack. 

* * *

 

“A negotiation,” She said, “I will be gone for a few days, maybe a month, maybe a year. You have a choice, come with me and learn about the less than invigorating world of politics. Your choice. If you want to stay, stay in the throne room, if not, follow Lumiya to the training room.” The cyborg was about to object, but one pointed look from Kira told her otherwise. Most of the padawans that were listening to her had followed Lumiya, a small Twil'ek girl, Ben, and Gethzorian had stayed, along with Captain Phasma. 

Kira smiled gently, as she walked down from her throne to greet the small eleven year old girl who stood at the foot of the steps. "Hello, little one. What's your name?"

"Aleema,"

"Aleema, do you want to be on this mission? It may be dangerous or may be very, very boring."

"Yes, miss."

"Why?" The little Twil'ek girl frowned, thinking upon a memory.

"I want to learn, miss, not spend my time in a cave meditating."

"Then you shall learn." She patted the girl on the head and moved past her, completely ignoring the others. "Phasma ready the Phoenix, everyone else pack, we leave in two hours." 

Ben followed Kira to her chambers instead of his own. "Why are you following me?"

"I don't have much to pack other than some robes and a lightsaber. Not much to do."

"I have more. So leave me alone," she was about to slam the door when Ben slid through. "Why are you so insistent in bothering me?"

"I'm bored,"

"Why not go with Lumiya then? She could keep you plenty busy." Kira took one of many lightsabers off her wall and clipped it to her belt. Ben realized her room was very methodical. The weapons were to one wall, a small table with ashes, and a bed that looked far more comfortable than the cot he had been given. He was about to complain about it, but when he saw the frustration on his lost friend's face, he decided against it. 

"May I ask you something?"

"Go ahead, it's not like I'm busy anyway."

 

“Why do you spare children's lives?”

 

“Most people are inherently kind, they won't want to join someone who slaughters young ones.”

 

“Sounds reasonable, so it's a manipulation thing.”

 

“Everything is a manipulation thing, now stop being such a nerf herder and let me pack in peace please. _God don't make me regret this.”_ Ben paused.

 

“One more question,”

 

“Yes?” She grumbled.

 

“What planet are we going to?”

  
“That's easy,” Kira grinned, “the warring planet of Abraxim.”

* * *

 

Warring was a bit of an understatement when it came to Abraxim. Political insurgency and corruption on both sides had turned into the hunting ground of some backwater darksiders that were Kira was intent on adding to her arsenal. 

Stormtroopers had already come, and crumpled bodies littered the ground, and Kira stepped over them without breaking a sweat, Phasma, Ben, and Aleema however, were a little more respectable about the bodies, “The neutral point is a few yards away, the fountain, we just need to get there before-” The Resistance was nothing if not punctual.

 

Blasters shot from a downed X-wing. Kira waved her hand and the blasters fell off of the ship. “Tin Can,” she muttered and kept walking. “If people are going to shoot at me, at least give me a challenge.”

 

 _If you weren't Rey, I might have done that myself._ She cocked her head and gave Ben a pointed look.

  
_I am not Rey, so you are free to try._

 

"You want a challenge?" Aleema tugged on the red sleeve of Kira's outer robe. "Listen closely." 

She was right. 

It was too quiet.

"Someone's coming." Kira hissed. Phasma raised her guns, and so did a few stormtroopers that had stayed long past the massacre. "Stay behind me, Aleema. You're about to learn a very important lesson."

* * *

 

Resistance fighters lined the buildings, all aiming at the Empress. Ben turned to hide his face from them. If his parents figured out what he was doing....

"YOU ARE SURROUNDED, SET DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!"

"What do you want to do?"

Kira laughed. 

She was in fact, a monster. Her hands raised. "DON'T HURT US! WE ARE SURRENDERING!"

_I have a bad feeling about this._

_You should._

_This is going to suck isn't it._

_Yes, and no. It is a test._

Kira whispered something under her breath that only the Twil'ek girl seemed to hear. She grabbed Kira's hand and raised her hands. 

Aleema raised her hands just as Kira did. Just as Rey might have. 

The Force pushed, until something broke, and the Resistance pilots and fighters dropped their weapons, beginning to jerk and twitch violently in their hold. Phasma and Ben watched as the two girls completely destroy their bodies. 

_Truly, a monster._

* * *

"You have something on your mind, spit it out.."

"You killed all of them. How?" She wiped blood away from her nose and said, "It was something I was able to do effortlessly once, but it comes with a price. It was a test. Set up by the insurgents in the area." She had reached the safe point. 

They entered a building with a long and slender black interface, met by a droid that reminded Kira of the one she had trapped at the Jedi dwellings. 

Kira smoothed her hair and turned her attention to Phasma, who was still holding her gun tensely. "That won't do you any good, put it down, relax."

 

"We were nearly attacked by about a hundred pilots and fights-"

"And you will not argue with me," Kira could feel an old memory on the surface of her mind, but she pushed it away and threw it back in that black hole her memories seemed to be consumed by. Her mind pounded, the Force bearing down on her. She wanted so badly to lash out, to take her lightsaber to a wall or to choke Phasma to death, but she could feel herself wearing thin at that moment. Kira conserved her energy, and wiped a little more blood from her nose.

 _Pain is my strength, immature bursts of anger do not fuel me, they wear me down._ She thought. The Empress became increasingly aware of Ben staring at her curiously, and put yet another barrier up in her mind. "Come on, let's go." the Force whispered and spread out messages of the old Sith. Messages of anger and confliction. 

Messages of inadequacy. 

 _I am The Empress. I am above this._ She could feel her blood begin to boil. 

"I don't appreciate being toyed with." It seemed Phasma and Aleema were struggling as well. But Ben... he was still calm. When Kira gave him a look, he shrugged,

_This is normal._

_Glad to know your constant feelings of depression and inadequacy have become so normal this doesn't effect you._

She kicked open the door to her left, "I hate politics," she grumbled. 

* * *

They do not support the New Empire.

It is not in their bones .  

The venom they possess is used incorrectly by the Empress. 

They intend to change that.

 

 


	6. Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can set yourself on fire, but your never gonna learn, learn, learn..."- Crazy=Genius, Panic! At The Disco

Lumiya knew something wrong when Gethzorian didn’t offer to go with Kira, but she ignored it, and worked the padawans, sometimes growling in frustration as she remembered their “force” hadn’t even awakened yet.

 

They were pretty decent in the world of combat, but they possessed no stamina, at least not compared to the cyborg, so she dismissed them after three hours. The training room became quiet and cold.

 

Lumiya remembered the first time she came here, when her metal parts were still out of date and she was still scared of any man she laid eyes on.

 

She had been told all her life to make herself scarce. But Kira had been offended that she had done such a thing.

 

The Empress, still young and full of curiosity, despite the side of the force she was oriented in, had made an effort to get to know her, and when she had, she had stopped keeping her line of work in the political and decided she wanted to fight side by side with her.

 

Nothing was quiet and cold with the Empress around.

 

It was never like tonight when she was around.

* * *

 

 

A memory;

 

The political side of running an Empire sucked, and Kira had been on edge all week, Lumiya could tell in her training, her moves were far more reckless, and less calculated than she normally did.

 

When the day had been over and Kira was changing back into her purple silk robes, Lumiya had closed the door behind her. “Lumiya,”

 

“Yes,”

 

“What do you need?”

 

“What do _you need,_ is what I came here to ask.”

 

Kira turned around to find Lumiya in her own sleeping gown, cut off right at the start of her legs. She smiled wearily, “Oh,” she chuckled.

 

“Oh? That's it? Very eloquent.”

 

“Forgive me, I have not had sleep all week.” Kira said, she stripped off her robes in one fluid motion, “Let's get to the point then.”

 

Everything had been warm, and bright, and vibrant, despite where they were and who they were.

 

But Lumiya made the mistake of thinking she was better, more important, and lastly different. It had turned out in the end that she was no different than Phasma, Geth, Captain Hux, or anyone who came knocking at her doorstep when she was looking for a lover.

 

The problem was Kira did not want to belong to anyone, nor did she want anyone to belong to her.

-

 

Things are cold, and measured, and used for logical convenience.

  
It is the Force that crawls on her back that tells her something is wrong. Empress, still young and full of curiosity, despite the side of the force she was oriented in, had made an effort to get to know her, and when she had, she had stopped keeping her line of work in the political and decided she wanted to fight side by side with her.

 

Nothing was quiet and cold with the Empress around.

 

It was never like tonight when she was around.

* * *

 

 

A memory;

 

The political side of running an Empire sucked, and Kira had been on edge all week, Lumiya could tell in her training, her moves were far more reckless, and less calculated than she normally did.

 

When the day had been over and Kira was changing back into her purple silk robes, Lumiya had closed the door behind her. “Lumiya,”

 

“Yes,”

 

“What do you need?”

 

“What do _you need,_ is what I came here to ask.”

 

Kira turned around to find Lumiya in her own sleeping gown, cut off right at the start of her legs. She smiled wearily, “Oh,” she chuckled.

 

“Oh? That's it? Very eloquent.”

 

“Forgive me, I have not had sleep all week.” Kira said, she stripped off her robes in one fluid motion, “Let's get to the point then.”

 

Everything had been warm, and bright, and vibrant, despite where they were and who they were.

 

But Lumiya made the mistake of thinking she was better, more important, and lastly different. It had turned out in the end that she was no different than Phasma, Geth, Captain Hux, or anyone who came knocking at her doorstep when she was looking for a lover.

 

The problem was Kira did not want to belong to anyone, nor did she want anyone to belong to her.

* * *

 

Things are cold, and measured, and used for logical convenience.

  
It is the Force that crawls on her back that tells her something is wrong. 

She can feel darkness on her back. She hadn't felt this way since Dathomir, when everyone was still a kid and everything seemed so scary. The hallways were completely vacant around her. 

The light side of the force no longer resonant. Slowly, the lights started to bleed red.

* * *

 

Kira, Aleema, Phasma, and Ben all had a first hand experience at meeting a bunch of old white men in black robes. Their eyes were completely gone, but something told Kira that they didn't need them at all. 

They were called the First Knights of Ren, and they had let Kira talk for a sufficient number of hours before saying, collectively, in the dark black chamber they were in, " _ **We will not follow you."**_

"What?" Ben flinched when he heard Kira's voice snap back like that. 

"We will not follow a foolish young girl like you, who uses both sides of the Force, instead of the most powerful, the dark side. We follow the darkest one, the Leader, we are the Order."

* * *

 

"Oh Lumiya...." the air popped, a woman's voice slithering down the hall like a snake. "... I can't wait to play with you. And my puppets." The voice giggled. 

Lumiya turned.  _What puppets?_ The disjointed face of a young Omwati girl grinned, her face twitching. Behind her, two other Padawans. "I couldn't help myself. They looked ripe for the picking." Geth. This was her doing. 

All of the sudden it clicked. 

She wanted her gone. This was her shot at power.

The Omwati girl lit her lightsaber and swung in a cruel arc, her hands moving in twitchy, marionette like movements. 

Lumiya was unarmed and unprepared, she barely was able to avoid it, the heat of plasma crossing her skin before she made a run for it down the opposite side of the hallway. 

A cyborg should not be scared. 

She should not be scared. 

But she was. 

 _Help me,_ her message was aimed to no one imparticular, but it was clear. 

_Please. Anyone._

"You have nowhere to run."

* * *

 

That was a mistake. 

Ben watched Kira's face twitch in a confliction of anger and surprise. 

_They won't follow you, big deal. Let's go._

_You don't get it. The Order. A bunch of insurgents far crueler than me, they killed some of my people who we brought in to survey Abraxim._

_Kira._

_They killed thousands. Children too._

_Kira, whatever you're about to do-_

_-I will do it without need of your permission._

"You won't follow me?" Her voice wavered, the Force cracking around her. Electricity manifested itself around her, Ben pulled the little Aleema back, and Phasma took an extra step as well. "That is fine." The dark chamber they had been in was suddenly a lit with elctricity, lightning. Force lightning. 

Four bodies seized. 

Four of them died. 

Kira's eyes widened, her stance one of shock. 

"Empress, what are you doing? Finish them!" 

"Pull everyone out Phasma, we need to run."

That's when he heard it. 

_Help me._

A lightsaber ignited. 

"Run!"

* * *

 

Lumiya was out of options. 

No one was coming. 

No one would help her. 

It had always been like this. Face the problem head on and without assistance. 

There was a route that no one but she knew to her chambers. Her bullwhip was in there. Hopefully that would be enough. 

The hallways were cold and twisted and dark, everything beginning to bleed red as words were whispered into the cracks of the foundation. The ends of the hallways were shut off.

_The Order will rise._

No way to get out.

Nowhere to run. 

No weapons. 

"Face me yourself, Geth!" She cried out. 

"As you wish."

 


	7. The Truth of Life Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death

“Two days,” Luke said, “two days since any of your darksiders have come to taunt me, I think I deserve an explanation. After all, you took it. And you owe me at least that,” Kira emerged from the shadows, her hands stained with dried blood.

 

“How do you deal with the blood on your hands, Skywalker?”

 

“I beg your pardon,”

 

“You heard me,” her voice was tired, and when she spoke louder, it cracked. She looked away in humiliation. “Now answer the damn question,”

* * *

 

 

**_They had run for hours. Somewhere along the way Aleema had been killed, her body crushed by the wreckage of a collapsing building._ **

 

**_Kira hadn't cared._ **

 

**_They reached the Phoenix and began the journey back to Star Killer._ **

 

**_Lumiya was the only thing on her mind. Her screams got louder, more potent the closer she got._ **

 

_I'm coming, please hold on. Tell me what section of the ship you are in._

* * *

 

 

Luke looked at her with soft eyes, she hated it, she hated that pity. “Who have you lost?”

 

“That is no business of yours,”

 

“Loss is different to us all, child.”

 

“Don't call me child,”

 

“You can lose a child, a friend, a droid, a significant other, a sibling… I remember a long time ago, my little nephew lost a friend to a gang of darksiders-” Kira sighed, and for a moment, Luke saw her, the actual her, Rey. “-and they killed her. It was the worst event in his life. He lashed out. He killed several people-”

 

“You have the blood of everyone on both Death Stars on your hands and then some, several people is fine.”

 

“Anyways, we got him back, right before you corrupted him again, because new information had in fact arisen that she might still be out there.”

 

“I fail to see how this applies to me,”

 

“Wait a second, he lashed out. As a dark sider always does. Predictably so.” Her fists clenched, and Luke was careful to choose his next words carefully. “But he also took into consideration what the departed would've done. While lashing out is fine, healthy even, he stopped and thought of her.”

* * *

 

**_Gethzorian._ **

 

**_Traitor._ **

 

**_Traitor._ **

 

**_Traitor._ **

 

_Help._

 

**_Lumiya._ **

  
**_What was she? A friend, a pupil certainly. Her equal. She was so young. She didn't deserve to die._ **

 

**_Training sector._ **

* * *

 

 

Once, Kira's heart beat evenly. Everything had been fine, but as she walked to see the cremation ceremony, her heart skipped multiple times.

 

She wanted to scratch at her throat, to tear the black and silk fabric from her throat and kill someone.

 

That violence.

 

It was like a narcotic.

  
But for the moment she couldn't use it.

* * *

 

**_Lumiya was bloody, her hand was missing, and so was an eye. It took Kira four seconds to kill the Omwati and human padawans that had sliced them off. All she saw was red._ **

 

**_All she hungered for was blood._ **

 

**_“Where is the traitor?” Lumiya opened her mouth, then coughed up blood._ **

  
**_“She hid when she felt your presence on ship,” More blood._ **

 

**_So much blood. “Kira I'm-” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she forced the words out._ **

****

**_“Don't speak,” The Empress cooed._ **

****

**_“You should stay with her, let me bring Geth to you.” Ben suggested softly._ **

* * *

Four deaths in one day, two children, two adults. One friend… Lumiya… Lumiya.

**_**** _ **

She watched what was left of her body dressed in Sith robes and carefully set into the tomb.

**_**** _ **

“What do you wish to do with the ashes?” Mitaka, who scarcely made himself known around the Empress asked. “If I may ask,”

**_**** _ **

For a second, Kira thought to keep them. “Keeping them to myself would be selfish, I will send them to the Kyber Crystal caves, she loves- loved them.”

  
“How thoughtful,” She wanted to ram her lightsaber through him. Through everyone. “This may not help, Empress, but she is at peace.” **_**_  
_ ** _ **

 

"Peace be damned,"

* * *

 

_**"Oh look, the Empress chose to stay with her little prostitute, all alone." The hallways had never been the color of blood before.** _

_**Kira thought it was fitting.** _

 

_**Fitting for when she killed the traitor.** _

_**Ben had  gone in an opposite direction. Kira and Lumiya were alone. "Don't worry about me," the cyborg whispered. "Kick her ass,"**_

**_Kira hated Gethzorian._ **

**_She hate her for putting Lumiya through this._ **

**_She hated her for making Kira kill children._ **

**_She hated her for her own very selfish reasons._ **

**_All that hate._ **

**_It manifested in lightning._ **

* * *

 

If you have ever lost anyone, you know that it doesn't truly weigh down on you until you are completely and utterly alone. 

The second Kira locked herself into her chambers, the east side wall was the first to go. 

She screamed. 

Her lightsaber ignited. 

The metal cracked and tore under her strength. 

Slowly, she remembered something, something from that black void in her mind. 

A room, made of all red, flashing words in front of her.

Peace is a lie.

The only truth is death. 

The purest feeling is anger. 

Next the west side.

* * *

 

_**Gethzorian was intent on putting up a fight, and after a few minutes of electricution and grappling, Kira was beginning to wear out again.** _

**"The Empress gets weak,"**

_Do not give up, Kira,_ _**her voice was weak in her head, the Empress felt her pain, the absence of her limbs and the cracking in her heart. She moved.** _

_**What the hell was she doing?** _

* * *

 Endurance was something Kira did not have. 

Now she lay, on the ground, panting. Lumiya's bullwhip in her hands. "What the hell am I doing?" She lay on her bed.

The purest feeling is anger. 

Sadness. 

Anger. 

Kira wasn't sure what she felt. But it surely was not pure.

* * *

_** Lumiya reached for her bullwhip.  ** _

_** And in one last act, she placed one well aimed blow for Geth's neck, and pulled forward.  ** _

_** The traitor's head toppled to the floor.  ** _

* * *

 

Losing someone would be easier if you had someone. If you knew what you were feeling. 

Kira had neither of them until she pressed the comm in her room. 

"Send the General in here, tell him to wear something nice."

At least she would have someone. Even if it was just for one night.

Someone who wouldn't break her heart. 


	8. The Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If it don't hurt now, just wait, wait a while."-Ain't it Fun, Paramore

Ben hadn't seen her in three weeks, Hux, Phasma, and Mitaka had all but taken over her job.

 

Training had gone on without her.

 

He had gone on without her.

 

Nightmares began to rise out of the situation, one night, Ben woke up to find the darkness crawling around him, suffocating. Then he heard a scream, Rey's scream. Or rather, Kira's.

 

The hallways twisted and groaned as he forced himself out of bed and down the hallway. The scream got louder. Phasma and a group of stormtroopers moved passed him. “Go back to your chambers!”

 

Ben merely ignored the order and kept following the group to her chambers. The Force weighed down on everything. Slowly expanding the hallway. Phasma kicked in the door and the stormtroopers filed in. “What do you want us to do?”

 

“She ordered us to restrain her whenever this  happens, so do it!”

 

Ben couldn't hear her thoughts.

 

Or feel her anymore.

 

There was a small, puny attempt at a Force Choke, and then, Ben heard her sobs.

 

_You probably think I'm pathetic. I don't care._

* * *

 

For another few weeks, there was nothing to be heard of Kira. They were all training with the others, and with her knights, starting to turn into little monsters of things that roamed the walls waiting for violence.

 

Ben's head stayed the same though, calm with the thought that she was close by, there was no temptation to hurt except on the defensive. _I need to see you._ Her thoughts were weak, but the small peak into her mind that she hadn't shrouded sent Ben's head for a reel.

 

All of his thoughts.

 

Ten times worse.

 

_I haven't spoken to someone in twenty eight days. I'm getting bored._

  
He stopped warm ups. Phasma nodded when she saw him, and he walked out into the hallway. _I'm trying to hurry._

* * *

Padded rooms brought out potential in people. 

Starvation was not starvation, it honed your thoughts to the necessary.  

An IV tube was threaded down her arm, feeding her a delicious mix of painkillers and memory deleting drugs to her.

The only problem for Kira was boredom.

The scratchy floors and constant light made her hallucinate about Lumiya's blood on her hands at first, but even then she had been desensitized to it as the drugs were fed to her. Her thoughts calm and the cuts on her wrist she had on her bedframe had stopped hurting. 

 

Phasma had come and bandaged them, covering them in black so she would forget them. 

 

She needed a play thing. 

She hadn't had one since she called in Hux, it seemed like so long ago. 

_Go up four levels, tell them that Phasma gave you clearance to visit me, tell them the code E-X-A-R._

 It hurt her head to focus on her thoughts. 

So she stopped, she took her IV out and  laid down, waiting. 

Waiting was most of life. 

Waiting for love. 

Waiting for home. 

Waiting for power. 

Waiting for grief to pass. 

Lumiya. 

 

The girl had managed to steal her heart and then barricade it all at the same time. Now those barricades opened.

The door open and the light changed. Ben walked in. Her thoughts got stronger. 

 Her play thing. 

No. 

More than that.

A challenge. "Re- Kira, what the hell?"

She grinned lazily and giggled as she got up off the floor. "It's fun in here, no distractions..." 

"The Padawans have progressed well," He shifted uncomforably, watching her dulled eyes devour him. She looked like one of those monsters primitive mothers told their kids about to get them to behave. "Not that you would know,"

"I'll be out there tomorrow, you say they've progressed, I damn well hope so."

* * *

 

The Empress stumbled to the side, Ben caught her. Her cheeks were hollowed out from lack of food and she smelled like dried blood and sweat. "You need to get cleaned up before you do that,"

"Obviously, but that is not of consequence right now." She waved him off and stretched her arms out. "Mmm, if I do get cleaned up right now, will you come with me? I don't wanna walk to my new chambers alone." Even though her memories were missing, there was still an old habit or two stuck in there. Ben couldn't help but press a smile, something that had started to get rare. 

"Are you allowed to leave?" 

"Of course," she giggled.

"I was supposed to leave four days ago. I just wanted you to accompany me," there was no way that she was sober right now. No way.

There was no way she wanted to stay in here right now, and there was no way she had any actual interest in him.

 

* * *

 

Most of men are equated to three things in Kira's mind. 

Another warm body, a casualty, or a challenge. It made her confused as to what he was. 

Ben Solo...  was he more than one? Or was he an equal? An equal and a warm body? 

That's what Kira hungered for. 

As they walked down to her new room, she intentionally collided into him. 

More. 

Touch and knowledge were two things Kira craved.

More.

She slid her hand up Ben's back, not going up his shirt, but wrapping her arm around his waist. He was so tall. "What are you doing?" He blushed as she unhooked herself from him and shook her head. 

It was impossible to know what he was. 

She wanted to know what he was.

All the padawans, Skywalker, everyone on the Base was so easy to figure out. So willing. So much want for simplicity. 

But when she had looked into Ben she had seen a familiar form of anger and loss. 

They hadn't had much chance for proper getting to know each other, but that anger had all but subsided when he was anywhere near her. Kira didn't know why.

It pissed her off. 

* * *

 

 The only reason he was here was because of her. 

Every second they walked to her chambers he hoped she would leave with him, that she would remember herself. 

But as Ben watched this demented version of Rey hold in tears, sway slightly as she walked he wondered if that would ever actually happen. 

 

"We're here,"

"So, goodbye for now?"

* * *

She wanted to see him as who he truly was.

Maybe she wasn't thinking straight but right now she couldn't see his weakness at all. 

He pitied her. 

So she kissed him. 

Not as an act of a love, never an act of love.

But as a test. 


	9. Hollow+Bruised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm evil to the core, what I want to save I will kill..."-Twenty One Pilots

Kira knew the second she walked out of her room that Ben Solo was hiding in the shadows behind her, and at the moment, she didn’t care. She knew exactly what he was going to ask and there was no time for her to go through the routine at that moment. Her hands itched to wrap around a weapon, so she headed to the training room. The padawans would be in for it today.

 

He was still behind her.

 

This boy.

 

“What do you want, Solo?” Even just saying his name made her want to choke.

 

“How-”

 

“You’re really bad at hiding your presence to me, if you were a snake I would’ve killed you.” She deadpanned.

 

“Ouch…” He shook his head and caught up to her. “Look, we need to talk-”

 

“About?” This was going to happen. The mess she had made last night was going to be cleared sooner rather than later.

 

“Last night-”

 

“Forget about it,” She said quickly. That was the kindest. To leave it at that, _forgetting should be easy, especially if you’re like me._

 

“What?” But of course, he wasn’t.

 

“I said forget about it, it meant nothing.” She could hear his heart skip a beat, it didn’t cause any kind of reaction in her, other than curiosity. She pushed a little further. “I’ve done more than that with people I hate, it has never meant anything, not for a long time.”

 

He didn’t say anything, except, “Okay,” Kira wanted to strangle him. And then herself. Why was he still here after what she had just said.

 

“I don’t have the time for this,” She turned the corner, mentally listing off all the things she had to do today that didn’t involve him.

 

“I’d assume so, busy Empress. Sitting around pouting on her throne.”

 

“Shut up, you big lump of Bantha poodoo.”

 

“Oh , Empress. Come on. You know you’re easy to describe like that.” That gave her an idea as they walked to the training room together. (Why did she choose to relocate all the way across the base?)

 

“If I’m so easy to read? Why don’t you tell me why I haven’t gotten rid of you Ben Solo?” She turned around and stopped abruptly. Her mind open and her thoughts lies for him to see. He faltered. His eyes widening as he searched her mind.

 

“You need a play thing,”

 

“Some times General Hux gets a bit stiff,” She finished.

* * *

 

 

Why was he still here?

 

Why hadn’t she killed him? Ben had hoped that it was because deep down, she still remembered who she was, that after everything, she wasn’t evil. But as he searched her head he found images of death and destruction all around her.

 

She was a monster, or at least, a mess.

 

All hypotheticals. But still, it hurt. “Now come on, it’s time to see if the padawans have truly progressed as much as you say they did.”

  
Something seemed off about her. As it had when she was grieving. All of her mind was open for him to see, except for one very bright, resilient barrier. She lifted her head high, her heart full of nothing as she walked into the training room. 

 

The lights flickered, and the training began. 

* * *

 

Kira could feel the Padawans heartbeats. They were jaded and all beating differently.

 

She heard their thoughts, their disbelief and feelings of abandonment from their parents and Luke Skywalker, it was their undoings in their first lesson. 

It was easy to locate them through the darkness. 

 

Easy to break them. 

 

She had needed to break someone. The rush power filled the hole in her head for the moment being. The Padawans began attacking from different angles, if there was one thing she had to admire, it was their persistane.

One hand extended back. Striking a girl in the face.  She still wasn't satisfied. 

Kira wanted the Solo boy's blood. 

 

He had made her feel weak. 

And that was still on her mind. 

"Turn the lights on." She said. "Turn them on,"

 They did. 

"Ben Solo told me that you had progressed, was he wrong? You need to hone your focus, be able to sense me in the Force and attack as a team, not a discoordinated mess." She snapped and began to turn around.

 

"Maybe we would know how to work as a team if you actually taught us."

"Who said that?" Some of the students, younger and less wise, snickered. "I'm serious, who said that?" His thoughts betrayed him, she pointed to a gangly boy in black. "Come forwards." She said. He quivered. Heart skipping a beat. "Don't be afraid, I want every one to see your face." 

 

He came forwards. Blonde haired and doe eyed. She hated it. So innocent. 

It reminded her of Skywalker. 

She hated it. 

His heart quivered as the Empress neared. A serpent closing in. With one swift hand movement, she seized control of him, all his pain, all his memories, all of his power.

His muscles convulsed.

She could feel his pain.

She thrived on it.

Did that make her a bad person? If so, so be it.

One lightning strike and he was down. “I do not have the time to accommodate you at this moment, I have an Empire to uphold. In case anyone has forgotten that.” The Empress said pointedly. “Learn. Die. It is your choice. Lesson is through.”

 _What the hell was that!_ She turned around, a smile on her face. 

Her job was done. 

* * *

 

One thing Kira did without fault. 

 

Multitasking. 

 

A voice in her head nagged her as she convened with dead spirits. That voice by the name of Ben Solo.  _That was unnecessary, you didn't need to kill him for merely disagreeing with you!_ She didn't answer. There was no point in doing it. 

 

She was about to go off world and she needed guidance. 

 

The hollow feeling in her chest made her feel like a china doll. Pretty, for show, no real substance. The bitter aftertaste in her mouth from what she'd done had only made her feel tired.  _You aren't even here to learn the dark side, I know that._

 

_I..._

 

_No._

 

_You don't need to tell me. You hold onto the past. You deny your pain. When you realize both are meaningless, only can you move on._

 

 _I don't think I can do that._ He let it slip. 

 

_Come with me, I can help you do it._

 

_So now you care?_

 

_I never care._

 

_That's depressing. And untrue._

 

 _It's true. And I wouldn't know what depression feels like. It's easy. Not caring._ She lied, clenching her fists. 

 

_Oh? And how is it easy, sweetheart?_

 

_Simple. I was never taught how to. So I never cared in the first place._

 

_Will you teach me how to not care about my past?_

 

_Yes. Yes I will._

 

There was a pause. 

 

_I want to say yes._

 

_Then say it._

 

Hesitation. Another thing that she would get rid of in that beautiful mess of a head. 

 

_Only if you are the one that teaches me._

 

 


	10. Going To Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For the lives that I take, I am going to hell.."-Going to Hell, The Pretty Reckless

"Miss." 

"What do you want?"

"I have managed to get a meeting set with the Rebel scum, General Organa."

"You've set the ship?"

"Yes, miss. It is integral that you come."

"I gathered."

"With the Skywalker lineage."

"And General Organa wants me to bring them because-?"

"She thinks she can reason with you."

 

* * *

 

The Phoenix was a lot more luxurious than the outside let on, Ben Solo had been expecting a more practical ship, something with a lot less splendor. He stared at Kira as she let one of her pilots take place. _Where are we going?_ No answer. _Kira? Rey?_

 

_I am not Rey, why do you insist in calling me this?_

 

 _So I could get you to answer me._ If someone could feel eyes rolling…  

 

_I was busy thinking about something what do you want?_

 

_Where are we going?_

 

_Really, that is what you wanted to ask?_

 

“Would you two please stop bickering ?” Phasma walked into the ship, two stormtroopers behind her. “FN-2187 and FN-2000 will assist you on your negotiation mission. Hopefully this one will be far more successful than the last,”

 

_She's not coming?_

  
_She has stormtroopers to deal with she can't come with me every time._ “Empress, may I see you outside the ship?”

The Empress nodded, and disappeared from the view of prying eyes and came back minutes later, grumbling under her breath. Ben saw new arm guards  covering scars that he had seen only once. _What?_

 

_You act like a kid._

 

_I have the freedom to act as I want._

 

_Doesn't mean you should._

 

_Whatever.  You sound like your uncle._

 

_I'm hurt._

 

“Start the ship,” she sat on a cushiony seat and buckled herself in. “I'm tired of waiting,”

 

What for? Ben didn't know. All he knew is he promised her something, and she had taken advantage of it. Memories laid at his fingertips as he watched her fiddle with her lightsaber from the opposite side of the room. She was always making improvements, _at least she was when I knew her._ “You're guarding your thoughts,” Kira raised an eyebrow. “Anything I need to know?”

 

“Nothing you'll care about,”

  
“You’re right, at least you see that now.”

* * *

 

Ben had been to Tattooine plenty of times in his life. “Family heritage” and all. But he had never thought that after all this time, he never thought he'd go back to that wretched place. Kira smirked as they landed on the planet, watching his face betray himself. "This is about learning to forget your past, Ben. Your mother is the one we will be meeting with today."

 

Tatooine was different under the cruel hand of Kira Palpatine. The sand burnt red and the village that his uncle had been through so much all but desolate, another ship landed near them. Another two stormtroopers coming off with a prisoner in their hands. "Your uncle is going to join us." She said. She walked over to them, snatching the bag from his head and uttering something Ben couldn't hear. But by the way Luke struggled with his captors, he could tell it wasn't in the least way polite. The Empress came back and motioned to Ben. "I want to ask you something,"

"Sure,"

 "Have you ever acknowledged that you have used the dark side of the force without guilt?"

He didn't know exactly how to answer that. 

"It's a yes or no question, Solo."

"No."

"The Dark side is much more vast than just what the Sith defined it as. You might find as we go along you grow a taste for it."

* * *

 Leia wanted to see her son again. According to Resistance Intel, he had been missing just like fifteen other Padawans. A droid had been found, saying that the Empress had been looking for the most poweful Padawans to add to her accessories. 

 

If she had him, if she had her brother... That only meant...  

 She'd sent a message out to Han. 

Not that he would come. 

He never knew what to say when it came to their son, never knew what to do. 

He used to, when Ben's friend had been around to calm him down. But that never happened. That's why Leia had never told anyone about the Empress. All day, she had been thinking of seeing her son again, her brother. Fantasizing about what horrible conditions the Empire had had the two of them in.  

Only time would be on her side. Only the Force.

All is as the Force wills it.  

* * *

 

All is as the Empress wills it. 

All is as she wills it.  

Why don't people seem to get that? It was a mystery to her.

As they made their way through the deserted village and into the main facilities of a neutral area, Kira had nonchalantly killed four rebel fighters that had been hiding in the distance.

 

General Leia Organa had already violated the terms of their agreement.  (Of course it hadn't been face to face, it had been over coms with Phasma. So their was never any telling if she had meant it. ) Ben was trying his best not to look on edge, but as they entered middle of the open town square, Kira could tell that this was far too soon for him. 

They had to go ahead with the plan. 

Leia waited on the other side of the square. 

"Normally I wouldn't bother entertaining the idea of meeting in such a primitive area, but then I remembered that you have something I want."

She paid no attention to the glances the General was trying to steal of her son. "I want my son, and my brother."

"Yeah, were you listening? You have something  _I want._ You already violated agreements to meet me." The General's lips pursed. Her mind successfully blocked off from free grabbing. "Information about the First Order."

When silence was her only response, she sighed, and pushed Ben forwards. "Talk to your mother, before I kill someone."

* * *

 Leia didn't think her son would be... healthy in any aspect. 

The Empress was ruthless. 

The Empress had clearly favored him over her brother.

The shackles told her so. _Luke. Luke. Answer me._

_He is not one of us, any more. The Empress made sure of that._

* * *

"Mom," Ben bit his lip, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't end this in disaster. 

_This is to help you forget your past, not so you can avoid hurting your mommy's feelings._

 "Ben, what are you doing?" She whispered. "Have you-"

"No, Rey's the Empress. I went with her because she doesn't have her memories."

"Ben-"

"Listen, if you just give her what she wants and let us go, then-"

"-Ben, she's been like this for awhile. There is no way of knowing that she'll get her memories back." Ben froze. 

"What?" It seems his mother had noticed her mistake a little too late. "You knew? You knew where she was and you never bothered to tell me?"

"It was too late by the time we had found her, Ben. She massacred seven thousand other non force sensitives and killed-"

Ben had waited for information on Rey for all these years. He had found her as Kira, and frankly, he was starting to realize he didn't give a shit when she killed people. "You lied," 

_I'm just going to tell you that we're on a time limit, and although I'm in too much of a hurry to read your mind, you need to find what ever information she has on her. I'm growing impatient._

"Honestly mothers lie about everything!" Kira exclaimed. Ben was stuck in a small limbo. Trying to remember something truthful his mother had told him. "Like your family heritage," she said. Leia's hand dropped, a small drive fell, caught in midair, and zoomed towards Kira. 

"WHAT-?"

 

* * *

 

A memory:

A small boy stayed in the old record holdings of the library, pouring over family lineage lines. 

There were rumors. Rumors that he, a Solo,  was related to the same man who terrorized galaxies for years.

It hadn't been before hours of wasting time, wasting hours he could have used to sleep that his mother had found him and assured them that those rumours weren't true, and his only friend had pulled him to his room and pushed him back into the bed. 

He had never realized she had gone back to the library. 

He never knew what she had found. 

* * *

 

Nothing anyone could say would fix what Kira had done to him, the Empress knew that. 

The truth, is a thing that hurts worse than anything else. 

"You shouldn't have done that." Luke said. 

"Okay, old man." Kira said crassly.

That bitter taste was in her mouth again.

"The dark side, it never works out for anyone."

"The dark side is too powerful for a Jedi to understand. And be quiet, you're going to get to go home."

Ben was by her side. 

"Release him, the information is ours." Kira watched the stormtroopers drag Skywalker to his  twin. 

She didn't hear the rest. Just turned her back and lead her prized Solo away.

* * *

 

"Alert the everyone of Kira Palpatine's coordinates, I will pay a significant fee if they deliver her to me. I don't care in what condition." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know... I really feel bad for putting Luke Skywalker through all this... so... yeah..,,


	11. Arms Tonite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I left it bruised and black and lame,  
> I left it running full of shame,  
> Oh I'm a Guilty one ,  
> And I know what I have done..."-Guilty, Marina and The Diamonds

The Empress had boarded her ship without a worry, and for a split moment, everything had gone off without a hitch. Ben had stayed next to her, silent and watching. And the stormtrooper stationed behind her was at ease. Watching the two of them carefully. "Is there something on your mind?" That was a stupid question, of course there was. "Spit it out,"

"You knew," 

"Of course. I make it my job to know things. Knowledge is part of power. Power got me what I wanted."

"Stop with the power talk, you knew and you didn't tell me." Kira rolled her eyes. 

"I'm not your mother, Ben," 

"I didn't say you were, I just thought we could trust each other!" The stormtrooper tensed when Ben raised his voice to her. He had sense. The Solo however...

" _Excuse me,_ I helped you!" 

"In what twisted-"

"All of your family lied to you, Solo-"

"Don't call me that-"

"-And you needed to know that. As for trust, what sweet Jedi drug have you been smoking? You should never trust people. That's how you get hurt. Now if you're going to keep on pouting about it, do it on the other side of the ship so I don't have to hear you bitching about how it was all my fault." There had been a very awkward pause before Ben had in fact, followed her orders, and left the main part of the ship. The stormtrooper stayed. FN-2187. She could sense his fear, sighing, she turned in her seat to face him. "What?"

He was silent, Kira could feel his heart pumping blood. This time, she was a little kinder. "I'm sorry, listen, is this your first mission?"

"Yes ma'am," Her heart broke a little. Why had Phasma picked this poor trooper? Training hadn't worked for this one. Too nervous. 

"Take off your helmet. You and I are alone."

 "Ma'am I hardly-"

"Do as you're told," The man underneath the helmet did not belong here. Behind the helmet was a man who was too young, too aware of his surroundings. A kind heart stayed behind cruel and uniform armor. "There, better?" 

He nodded. 

"I need to ask you something, answer truthfully."

"Yes ma'am,"

"Would you kill for the Empire?"

Hesitation. 

That was all she needed. "When we get back, I will assign you the medical unit, working with droids. Saving lives. Of course you will get the proper schooling first, but I think you will serve better there." 

"May I ask-"

"Can't be horrible to everyone  all the time." 

She motioned for him to sit by her in the more luxurious seats in the ship. 

* * *

 The Resistance came the fastest. 

Leia watched the Millennium Falcon land, she watched Han run out of the ship.

She wished she could say she was happy about it.

She wished she could say that she was happy to see Luke again. But part of her kept nagging her, as she watched the skies for signs that they might be fighting up above their planet. "Leia! Where is our son?"

"You're too late. He left."

* * *

 They had made it to a freight ship before the fighter pilots came. 

Before the Order  and bounty hunters came. Kira couldn't say out loud that she hadn't seen this coming. 

"Is this another thing you have neglected to tell me?"

"Shut up and run, you- you idiot."

FN-2187 tapped Kira's shoulder. "Ma'am, this way." They were about to turn, right when she was hit in the back with a blast of plasma. 

" _Kriff,_ " She turned to see one Resistance pilot at the front of them all. She remembered seeing him in the records recorded for Star Killer, the best pilot in the Resistance. Poe Dameron. He's killed many of her people. With one swipe of the Force, she sent him toppling backwards into the other fighters. Ben shut the ship's door. "Are you okay?" Kira pounded on her wound, her head rushing. 

"Less talking more running,"

* * *

 

"Something's wrong, the Empress hasn't returned."

"The Resistance is making an effort to capture her, it's time for their end."

* * *

 

Grates exploded. 

The First Order was here, and Kira stumbled as she pushed down another closing door. 

Her head was spinning. 

Blood began to flow coarser from her wound. 

"There's not much else we can do, everyone else is dead." She heard FN say, her vision was beginning to tunnel, she pounded on her wound, a little more adrenaline. A little more time...

 The Empress saw red. It reminded her of the room they said monsters were created, run by Brendol and Martelle Hux. The Room some said she was created in. Kira felt an overshadowing presence of darkness. 

The First Order. Nowhere to run before someone picked her up. 

Nowhere to go. 

_This is how I die, this is my judgement._

_No. Not yet._ Another voice said. It was not Ben Solo. Someone supposed to be dead.  _These are your first steps._  

Kira grabbed her lightsaber and unhooked it from her belt, turning on the dueled red blades. 

"We're going to get out. Even if I have to kill everyone on this Freighter."

* * *

Leia should've felt guilty, for sending people after her son and his brainwashed friend, but she wasn't. 

"That is not the way of the Jedi," her brother had rasped. 

"I am no Jedi." She'd responded.

* * *

 

Kira made a mental note that when she got out of this, she was going to do a lot of communing with her elders. 

 That pain that wavered through her body did the same through others, and a wave of rebels collapsed to the ground, bleeding from their eyes. 

They ran. 

She could feel rescuers on the way. 

Dark metal rods that held up hallways bent and snapped like whips. 

They were almost there.

Almost. 

* * *

 

Ben- no not Ben he was not Ben anymore- remembered hearing her scream echo throughout the ship. 

There was no way the enemy didn't know where they were now. 

When he turned around, he saw a bent and wicked metal rod, and Kira's arm was stuck at the very end. 

She bit her lip and pulled the smallest bit. 

A mistake. 

Her lightsaber rolled to the ground.  

Ben knew what he had to do. 

* * *

 FN-2187 and Ben were standing on either side of the Empress. Oh how humiliating this was. 

"You two need to go, leave me," Someone was getting closer. 

"Like hell we are. We're going to get you out."

"No, you're not, just  _go!"_ Kira knew she deserved to die. She wanted it even. Maybe it would earn her some peace and quiet. "I am your Empress, you will do as I say." Any argument was futile in this case. Ben acted fast, holding her so she wouldn't struggle, FN picked up her lightsaber and with one quick arc, it freed her. 

* * *

 

The Empress had passed out in his arms.  

 That's most of what he remembered. At some point, FN-2187 had been lost in the wreckage. At some point he'd killed someone he thought he recognized.

 It didn't matter. He'd gotten onto the rescue ship, they took her, and for the moment, he was safe again.

 

 

 


	12. Red Desicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've lost, I've lost my innocence, I've found my self relief..."- Scab and Plaster (Marina and The Diamonds)

Phasma sat next to the Empress in the medbay, Hux on the opposite side of her. "This was going to happen sooner or later," The General said. "The girl is reckless."

"That girl is your Empress, you will respect her." Phasma snapped. 

"She's unconcious and sans one arm, I'll ridicule her if I want." 

"It wasn't her fault,"

"She didn't calculate the risk of not taking more. She took him-" Hux pointed to the Solo boy,  clad in black, dried blood still staining his hands, "-a useless boy trying to rebel against his parents. Now we know she was thinking with her pants there. I'd like to say it's her fault entirely!"

"I'm not useless,"

Hux turned on him. "Our Empress was almost killed because she took you, and not the proper amount of troopers and force users she had available."

"I got her here alive, didn't I?"

"He's got you there," Phasma interjected. "Now I think it's in the Empress and the Empire's best interest if you leave and attend to your duties, General."

He was fuming, "I am your superior."

"What would the Empress say if she was awake?" 

"Go blow something up, it makes you happier." Phasma finished the sentence, and with that Hux walked out of the medbay. 

* * *

 

  _Corruption seeps into a metal base faster than acidic gas fills up chambers. With the Empress waysided, our work begins._

* * *

FN woke up in a medical room much nicer than the medbay at Starkiller. A bandage had been neatly placed over a spot on his torso. He winced, getting up carefully, trying to recollect what had happened. 

He had remembered the Empress promising him a position that meant no killing people, and he had been ready to accept that, ready to comply if it meant a better life, but the Rebels and First Order had changed that in a matter of seconds. "You're probably confused right now." A man's voice said. Finn turned sharply, painfully so. "Woah, take it easy." A Rebel fighter. He was at the Rebel base. The man got up from a seat in the corner of his room and moved into FN's line of sight. "I'm sorry I shot you." He said. "Didn't know if you were loyal to the Empire or not." He was almost sheepish. 

"And now you know?"

"You talk in your sleep." That was embarrassing. FN didn't know what to think of this man. "-not that- I would know... My name is Poe Dameron. You?"

"FN-218-"

"-Woah that's a lot of numbers...I mean your real name." FN stared at him blankly. "You don't have one do you?" Poe's eyes softened. "How about Finn? A lot easier to say." 

Finn. 

 _Yeah. Finn._ "I like it."

* * *

  _Corruption comes, but there are always two prevailing forces, Supreme Leader. The Gray and the Light have been winning for years, how do you plan to win?_

* * *

 

 

Kira fell in and out of consciousness. She caught some snippets of conversation, Phasma snapping at Hux, Ben snapping at Phasma. At one point she'd heard him say, "Despite what you think I'm not the useless one here, I'm not the one who has the most questionable judgement." And she couldn't blame him. She had ended up with a respirator helping her breathe for the moment and droids installing a new arm on her.

Her eyes fluttered open to the faces of black and silver droids. _"Stay still Empress, we are nearly done."_ One clicked in binary. She did as told, rather than face the reprocussions that getting up would incur.  _"Done."_

One very sharp jolt to her ribcage sent her sitting upright. There was no one in her room, of course. Kira chided herself for thinking otherwise. 

 Slowly, she got up and flexed her new fingers, biting her lip to keep the tears from flowing. 

Pathetic. 

Slow steps at first. The cabinet next to her cot was the only thing she felt like going to at the moment. A glass of water was waiting for her already, as well as an array of pills on a tray and under the tray, a small necklace. She smiled. Dropping the necklace in the square pocket of her cotton gown and popping her pills. 

They were so strong she barely had enough time to get to her cot. 

* * *

_The girl will be our puppet. She has set our structure, and she will lead to the fall of all Force Users._

* * *

 

 Finn had recovered at a miraculous speed. Maybe it was the fact that there was a possibility to recover to now. Maybe it was the new friend he found in Poe Dameron. But he still had a small pang of guilt in the back of his mind. 

And the nightmares, oh the nightmares. He saw the Empress, her blood on his hands. Finn chided himself for feeling guilty about that. If he had actually had the guts, he could've ended her right there. But he didn't. 

That was still bugging him. Even as he walked the hallways outside the medbay and started to be accepted by the Resistance. 

_Why hadn't he taken that chance?_

* * *

  _The girl has too much light in her. She could not bring down the fall of all the Force user._

* * *

 Kira woke again and listened to hours of bickering. 

Show no pain. 

Go back to the medbay. 

Pills. 

Sleep.

The routine was dull.

The padawans were no longer under her rule, no they went through the academy now, a much crueler fate awaited them. But it seemed she was numb to the things she cared about. 

All except the jewels she kept. 

Today, the pain in her leg was a lot lesser than before. That gave her some relief. 

The headache she'd had was not helping either. Nor the overwhelming desire for "intimate" activities. 

She had to resort to something. And Ben Solo wasn't going to say yes to her when he hadn't even come to visit her in the medbay when she was awake. The Empress had the stormtrooper stationed outside the medbay send for Hux. 

* * *

 

_That is why we will win. Brendol Hux groomed her so._

* * *

 Hux always came when she called. "Look how pathetic you are," No matter what time and what his responsibilities were. He eyed the jeweles she'd just put around her throat. "Just sitting here. Weakened. Not planning on exacting your revenge any time soon are you?"

"That's petty." Kira replied. "But then again, what more should I expect from you?" She felt a chill run down her spine as he traced a line over spine with his finger.

"A shred of common sense and decency."  The General whispered. "Harlot."

"Sycophant."

She tore at Hux's uniform first, knowing she'd hear about it later. 

 


	13. Revenge, Sweet and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The fall of the Resistance comes today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Only living in the dark..."- Electra Heart, Marina + the Diamonds

_It will begin._

* * *

 

The Resistance held it's breath in anticipation, staring at holos that were being projected live by the spies on Star Killer. Leia and Luke at the head of it all, with Finn and Poe standing off to the side. Any minute, the Empress was going to appear for the first time since the attack near Tatooine, and everyone could tell Leia was hoping that he would appear with her son. Finn had blurred out most of what the General said before he introduced her, only retaining that this was the end of the Resistance and something about a lot of people dying. 

The Empress appeared with four cloaked figures behind her, wearing a dress that made it look like she hadn't had her arm chopped off a few weeks ago. "The Resistance will die," that earned some cheers from the crowds of stormtroopers. "It has infected us all like a plague. I intend to cleanse it." She said. "Starting with the spies in this very crowd right now." Every one stiffened. How could she know? There was only six out of a million of the stormtroopers on there. Her voice was icy cold, her eyes turning directly to small camera on the spy closest to her. She smiled, something disconcertingly warm. "But first I want to deliver a message to the General Leia Organa. You're last. That way, everything you love dies in front of you." She outstretched her hand, and a burst of crackling energy was the last thing they saw on camera one. 

 

There was a dramatic pause in her speech, before she turned herself out towards the people. "I would like to address several people actually," Every one in the room was silent. "There has been rumours spreading. Saying that the Resistance is beginning to amass an army that is severely outgunning us." That wasn't true. "That is not true, although the threat of the Resistance and the First Order is rising, and Leia Organa withheld information on the First Order from her own Resistance members. We know, that the General can lie like a politician." People began to stare at the the General, even her brother and husband. Another zap. Camera two down. 

 

* * *

_Are you so sure this is the right way to take over? Shouldn't we eliminate both threats completely? My boy could take care of the girl._

* * *

 

He had named himself Kylo Ren, and he'd been devoted himself to the Empress, and the adaption of the dark side in the past couple of weeks. Everything had become so simple, react on pain, pain leads to anger, anger leads to power. "You haven't showed yourself in several weeks." Kira hissed. "And I would like to know why?"

"Needed time to think," He replied.  

"Don't do that, you'll strain yourself."

"Haha, very funny. Good speech by the way. I especially love the part where you electrocuted six people." The sarcasm in his voice was almost overwhelming. 

"Yes, yes the art of speech making." The ridiculous accent she put on made Kylo snicker, Kira's breath caught as she saw his smile. A true smile, for maybe the first time. It seemed so familiar. "Anyways, go on."

"I wanted to make sure I was staying for the right reasons." 

"And?"

"I am."

* * *

 

_All in due time._

* * *

 

The Empire had been frantic in impromptu preparing, but Kylo Ren had known that they were purging the Rebel base. He didn't feel very bad about it either. Betrayal had gotten the better of him and rotted his core. As long as Kira was there, he still felt a grounding force that kept him there. She was a cold hard truth he was okay with. And the prospect that she might remember who she truly was, lead him to the notion that he was willing to do anything, so long as it pleased her. He walked on the other side of her, where her real arm was. She seemed more comfortable that way. He did her wishing, but something was still missing. 

The night before  they prepared to purge the Rebel base, he caught her overlooking the stars, a childish look of wonder on her face. "They're beautiful aren't they?" She asked. 

"The stars, or you?" She smirked. 

"Was that an attempt to flirt with me, Ren?" Kylo reddened. 

"Thought I'd try something new momentarily." He replied, inching closer to her. She did not take her eyes off the stars. 

"You want something, spit it out." 

"We haven't gotten to talk in a while, I just... I thought..." The words weren't coming out right. Parts of his old self began to come back. 

"That we could gossip about affairs in my military staff and do each other's hair and nails?" She faltered when she saw his face. Her own eyes softening. "Sorry. I'm a bit drunk," That's when he saw the expensive alcohol on the floor next to her. "That was mean, what do you want to talk about?" 

This time he paused. Regaining his composure and finding the words, "Have you ever felt... empty? Like there's some void in your heart you don't know how to fill?" 

"Yeah, all the time." She said without thinking. "It sucks bantha poo."

Kylo smiled bitterly. "Yeah, it does."

"You've been feeling like that recently?" 

"A little."

 "A little meaning a lot?" She moved closer to him, only level to him because of the heels she was wearing. Kylo nodded. The Empress appeared to be thinking, adressing the sleeve that completely covered her metal arm a little more than usual. Kylo could feel a small shred of guilt in the back of her head. But only a small one. 

"How do you quell it?"

"Sex, killing, more sex. Some substantial shit to get through the day. But I don't think that's what your looking for." Kira grabbed both of his hands, her thumbs moving in massaging circles around his palms. A calming tactic. It worked well. "I have a preposition for you, and it involves a position of power."

* * *

_And what will we do with Skywalker? He seems to be recovering, some say his ability to use the Force has come back._

* * *

 All is as the Empress wills it.

Kira knew that enterring the Illenium system in Star Killer would be too much forewarning for the Resistance to evacuate. 

The plan was simple. 

They all flew separately, a few hundred on different planets in systems further away.

Spies had told them cargo times, unloading places, and the best place to infiltrate the base. 

This had to be done quietely at first. Kylo Ren, his Knights, and the Padawans were to be flown in later.

Not as flashy as Kira would've liked, but she hungered for blood and guts she decided it would do. Every part of her was considering what the world would call her afterwards. 

* * *

_Everything is in place master._

* * *

The Resistance woke up to a crumbling foundation, Leia and Luke were the first to wake. The first to see the hundreds of thousands of stormtroopers filing out of Resistance marked cargo ships. 

"Sound the alarm."

* * *

_The Resistance will fall._

_Yes, the Resistance will fall. We will rise._

* * *

 

Chaos of Kira's making was so much more appealing to Kylo than the normal supervised fight. For a minute he forgot every thing about his past. It was just him, and the Rebels that were lucky enough to end up on the unlucky end of his lightsaber.

_Reign it back, Exar Kun._

_What?_

_Leave some killing for me._

_Oh. Yes._

_It's glad to see you're having a good time. Focus though. Remember. You are here for a reason. Find Skywalker._

_Yes. Of course. Find Skywalker._ That was when shots rained down from the sky. Poe Dameron had gotten hold of an X-Wing. 


	14. Blood Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is dark, the base had caved in on itself, Finn and Poe weren't sure if there were any survivors. They had found small kids huddling in a room together, cold and hungry. 
> 
> How were they to get them out alive?

_The Base is nearly destroyed. Are you sure her personal interest will not get in the way of ending this task?_

* * *

Finn and Poe had been inside the Base when it caved in. Everything was dark and musty, Finn could hear the screams of people trapped in the rubble. "We have to help them!" Poe pulled the other way. 

"Not enough time, come on."

"Poe, no!" The pilot stopped. 

"The base is caving in on itself, we have to get out of here and out of the Empire's reach before we- I don't know, die!"

Finn stared back down the hall towards the rubble that sealed them in. 

"We don't have time to be heroes today, now come on."

* * *

 

Kira had enterred the base through the first hangar door, and had gotten surprisingly far before someone had tried to shoot her. Poe Dameron. 

He'd shot her before.

The bolt from the blaster hung in mid air. The pilot paralyzed on the other side. "So we meet again,"

"Empress."

"Rebel scum." Her grip on his paralysis got tighter, she watched him trying to move, painful pants of air escaping his lungs. "I'm glad I get to kill you."

"Wait!"

She had heard that voice before. Kira turned, sharply, her hold loosening the slightest bit on Poe.

FN-2187.

Suddenly she felt so tired. "You,"

"Finn what are you doing?"

"Listen, Empress... I know that you really want to kill him right now but-"

"Thanks for reminding me, can I get back to it now?" She rolled her eyes, her arm outstretched towards Poe. 

"You promised to get me into the medical division. Why?"

"What-"

"You realized that I wasn't fit for killing," he raised a blaster in his hand. "Don't make me do it now." Kira raised an eyebrow, and with one sweeping motion, she let Poe go. 

"Go, hangar C hasn't been infiltrated yet." Finn sighed in relief, setting the blaster on the ground. The Empress knew he wouldn't use it. But that was okay, she was going to let him go either way. "And Finn, is it?"

"Yeah?"

"The next time I see you two, I won't be so... _generous_."

* * *

 

Luke had felt something like this would happen, but he had always assumed he would be strong enough to help. He wanted to be strong enough to help. Thanks to the Empress he could barely lift a can of soup in the air let alone wield a lightsaber. So as they smuggled Luke onto the Falcon, they came up with a plan that could possibly kill the Empress and save Leia's son. 

Han would shoot. 

Luke and Leia would be the distraction.   _Yes, this could work._

* * *

 

_Are you sure that there are no others of concern here? Not the escaped stormtrooper?_

* * *

 

Kira had seen them, and Leia was glad that she hadn't ended their lives right then and there. They had a plan, lure her to the Millennium Falcon with Ben in toe, Leia and Luke would subdue her and Han would do what he did best. He would shoot her first. Chewbacca would subdue Ben, and although their son was now a war criminal, they would find a way to make it work. They always found a way to make it work.

* * *

_I admit he is of concern, sit back and watch his activity for now._

* * *

 

The hangar was empty. The old piece of junk was the only ship in the whole room. "I know you're in here,"

She could make this easy on her self. Read their minds and snap their necks, something both Lumiya and Hux used to agree on.

She needed her prize back. 'I'll make Lumiya proud.' "Come on, it's not like I'm going to slaughter the younglings like your father."

Luke was the first to step out. "Ever the Jedi," Kira said. "Where's your sister?" He held his hands up. A sign of surrender.

"Take me. Not her."

"Oh boo, not the sacrificial lamb act."

She grabbed him by his robes and forced him onto his knees. "You act so smart, all knowing even. A kid your age knows nothing," he said.

"Kid? I think I lost that title when I took command of my grandfather's empire."

"How old are you? Nineteen?"

"Twenty,"

"You're a kid. You probably don't know what your fighting for." He was right. She didn't. The violence and chaos she brought about was a never ending circle.

"That may be but do you want to know something, Skywalker?"she heard Leia's steps. And someone else's she did not know. "I have something you don't." A push in the force sent her skidding across the floor, away from Luke. She smiled.

"Get away from him!" Leia barked, and then when she had started to laugh, "Are you entertained?"

"I knew Luke was strong with the Force but you?" She reached her hand out, pushing against Leia's barrier, the resistance she was met back with was surprising. And then Luke- although still recovering nearly as strong. Soon Kira was sweating with the exertion she was putting out to meet the two.

_Ren._

_Where are you?_

_Hangar B._

_I'm right next to it._

_Your uncle was stronger than he let on. So is your mother._

_Have they hurt you?_ She could feel his anger and strength begin to build up in her head. The rush of power was such a pleasant feeling. 

_I have a feeling they're about to._

All hell broke loose.

* * *

 

_I will alert my son of your commands, Leader._

* * *

Han Solo found himself looking at a kid he used to take on rides on the Millennium Falcon, he found himself looking at the girl his son had undoubtedly pined over for years. He'd seen it get worse when she had been taken. Now she changed. She wore black, and heels, but the signs of torture had been there. The weary eyes, the loss of weight, and the blankness. The bluntness used to hide something.  _Just shoot._ He told himself.  _Ask questions later._

So he did.

The plasma beam from his blaster stopped midstride. "Not so fast," He could hear his son's voice. _Oh god,_ it was worse than he thought.,

* * *

Kylo Ren had the Knights behind him, and one seized Leia by the arms, effectively restraining her. Two had gotten Chewbacca and Han, and the other Luke Skywalker. "Knock out the others leave the General conscious." The Empress ordered.

"Ben!"

"Ben!" They shouted. He nearly turned, nearly responded.  _No, that isn't my name any more._

Luke, Chewie and Han collapsed, the blaster bolt still hanging in the air. "Ben! Please don't do this!" His mother cried. "I love you. You don't have to follow this-"

"Bitch?" Kira supplied. "Listen, Mrs. Solo, don't take it personally, but I personally despise you and have made it my goal to burn," she motioned to the general chaos in front of you, "everything you love and stand for. Sound good with you?"

"What have I ever done to you?"

"Besides order everyone to attack and kill me resulting in this-" she knelt down and took her glove off, revealing a solid metal arm for a second, before tugging her glove back on. "You act so much better than everyone, you and your rebellion. Asking for hope and peace and shit, and  _kriff_ it's annoying. Especially when you do nothing but practice violence." She looked over at Kylo. "Oh yeah, you also abandoned your son when he needed you most and I-" Kira took a dramatic breath, "-can relate to that, sadly."

 Leia was speechless. "Knock her out and take Skywalker. Seal the others in." Once she was out, Kira blinked, it was clear to see she was beginning to get tired again. Kylo moved closer to her, sticking his arm underneath her waist. His face was blank, "If you pick me up, Ren I will knock you out myself."

"Notice the fact that I'm not picking you up."

As they walked out the hangar door and into the light, Kylo found the Empress smiling. She looked nothing like a woman that had just ruined several thousand lives and more like- No. She was gone.

 "Take five everybody, if you see anyone trying to leave the base, kill them. Until then, we wait."

* * *

 After the attack, Kira had found herself drained. It was to be expected. The amount of Force she had exerted on the infrastructure of the Base had been a great one indeed. She reckoned that it was just the strain of a body her size summoning the Force. 

She had realized  that, the siths that had come to power all had one thing in common. Ruined bodies, marred by the dark side. If that was the price of power... maybe it was childish... but that is why she still used the light side. Only in private. 

 Now she sat on bloodsoaked grounds, pushing a stick in the fire that the Knights had started, the necklace she had gotten still dangled from her neck. At some point Kylo Ren had sat next to her. 

"When's the last time you ate?"

"I don't keep track of that."

"You need to eat."

"I'm fine." He held a fruit out with a gloved hand, not looking at her. 

"Drop the tough act, Empress. Eat." Kira bit her lip, taking half of the fruit. 

"Only if you eat too." He smirked. "As you wish."  She picked at it until he turned, and then nearly swallowed it whole. Kylo laughed when he saw that her fruit was gone. "You were hungry." 

"Shut up."

"Make me." That breath was gone again. Just a moment, as Kira remembered the first time she had kissed those lips. She was high, that technically wasn't supposed to count. Breathe, think.

"Are you doing okay?"

"What?"

"I mean... after you went against your parents like that."

"For now, I guess." She'd ruined the mood. "I'm going to check the perimeter."

 "Oh-um- okay." For a second the Empress began packing up, "I can go with you-" until Ren softly laid a hand on her wrist. 

"It's okay. Get some rest, you killed a lot of people. "

"Gee thanks."

"We'll be leaving in an hour,"

Kira rolled her eyes, sitting down on a piece of rubble. "Yeah I know, what if you run into trouble? You'll need back up."

"I'll be fine, I know how to check a perimeter." She did feel tired. A little too tired. 

"If I hear you screaming like a little girl, I swear on my grandfather's grave-"

"You'll what?"

"Laugh because you screamed like a little girl and then rub it in your face when I come and save your ass." The Knight of Ren laughed, and left her tending to the fire.

Hours passed by, the ship had not come to pick them up, some stormtroopers briefed her about fueling delays and breakage in the wings. Of course, something would go wrong. "Have you found Kylo Ren?" 

"No ma'am."

_I found something._

_Where the hell are you?_

_I found something._

_Yeah okay, you could've been killed. I might kill you for not reporting in to me sooner!_

_Are you still on the planet?_

_Yeah._

_Then we don't have a problem, I found something you might want._

_The Resistance's  lines of credit. Bank accounts with the Republic. A lot of shit I can't understand._

_I'm coming._

* * *

_They found a line of credit. What do you wish to do with it, Leader?_

_Have your son wire it to seperate accounts._

_The Order is about to rise._

 


	15. No Light, No Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are the hole in my head... no light, no light in your bright blue eyes... I'd do anything to make you smile."-No Light, No Light, Florence + The Machine

Kylo Ren had been looked at as a hero when he got back to Star Killer base, but he didn't feel like one. It had finally hit him when he was alone. What he had done to his parents. And the question tugged at him- _**am I doing this for the right reasons?**_

 _I ask myself that question everyday._ Kira responded. 

* * *

 

A memory:

When he was a boy, a different person entirely, he used to sit out watching rain drops slip down leaves and hit the ground out by the pavilion. This was the first time that a girl, only three years younger, had joined him. They sat in silence for some time. The girl picking at frayed threads on her newer padawan robes. Finally she said, "It's too loud in the mess hall." It took him a few seconds to realize she was talking to him. 

"Yeah, it is." He replied. 

"It's nice out here," Rey said decisively. "It's cool and it was never cold back on Jakku."

"Well get used to it here,"

"I will, grumpy." She said. Ben smiled, however small it was, Rey seemed to light up at it. "Why are you out here by yourself?" She finally asked. The question must've been bugging the little padawan. 

"Just thinking," 

"Thinking about what?"

"Stuff you don't want to know about,"

"Try me,"

Ben sighed, "It's embarrassing." Rey pushed him slightly. 

"Tell me!"

Ben pushed her back and she giggled, straightening her face when she looked back at him. That was the thing about her. The girl always saw him. Maybe that's why he didn't want to tell her what was wrong. She always saw him for what he was. No matter what. "No one likes me here,"

"That's not true! I like you!" 

"Yeah you and that's it." Ben deadpanned. "And it makes you think, why I am doing this? I don't think you'd understand."

She was silent for a moment. 

"I know what you mean, I thought that everyday on Jakku. Why am I doing this? Why am I still alive?"

* * *

 

Kira sighed as she entered Skywalker's holding cell, "You really are a thorn in my side, you know that? Two interrogators with broken noses and a fractured skull, that is way too impressive for you old man."

"Why do you insist on kidnapping me?" Luke Skywalker was strapped into his chair fairly well, his hair stained and matted with blood. But at best he looked annoyed. "And don't give me a five minute spiel about burning everything and everyone in your way, I get it. You're trying to be like one of your grandfathers. You want power. You want to be evil. You want to be manipulative. But why not just kill me?"

"Your first mistake was comparing me to my grandfather, my one grandfather who matters- that is. I am my own creation," Luke cocked his head to the side. "Your second mistake is thinking that theirs a reason for me kidnapping you, other than you're very entertaining."

"That's rather shallow of you."

"I know, right?" The sarcasm in her voice was overwhelming. "But listen, I need information from you."

"What are you going to do? Torture me to get it."

"Torture is a very... ineffective way to obtain information. Although fun. So no. I won't. You've already lost everything." Luke shook his head. 

"I have not."

"Are you not living in reality, old man? Your Rebellion is dead. We destroyed the entire planet and the whole base collapsed in on itself." 

"There is always hope, in the Force. It is on my side."

The Empress chuckled, Luke Skywalker was all too faithful in his Jedi ways. "Okay then, tell me everything you know about the Rebellion, about me, about the First Order. Everything."

"Why?"

"Knowledge is power, and I want all of it."

* * *

 

Phasma had seen it on Kira's face when she had walked in to a shit show four hours after interrogating Luke Skywalker, there was no doubt that at least four people were going to die. Leia Organa was streaming on the holos in front of her. "What the fuck," Phasma kept herself from snickering as she enterred the room. "You drop a whole building on someone and somehow, someway they crawl out of it with barely a scratch."

"Perhaps blowing up the planet might not have been overkill," the General smirked as he turned up the volume on the holo message. 

"Shut up, Hux. No one likes you." She really was pissed. 

This was going to be entertaining. 

"This is the General of the Rebellion, the only General left standing..." Kira bit back whatever fleeting insult she was about to spew and kept watching. "Today we were hit by unrelenting forces of the Empire. The Empire that a young girl, hijacked and took hold of." Young girl. Leia Organa was brave. The Captain had never thought she was stupid. "But I have seen the true nature of this cowardly, little child-" One of technician's clipboards was the first thing to go. "She as well as her followers, are scared. That is why they come to wipe us out. Because they are scared of hope. Of freedom and democracy." Her eyes met the camera "I'm coming for them." That was enough to chill anyone, even Kira's eyes widened. "And I hope you will join us."

 "I've seen enough." 

"Miss-"

"I've seen enough, Captain. Now I suggest all of you move out of my way while I think about what I need to do." 

* * *

 

Thinking about what she needed to do, equalled having sex. It always had for Kira. So why was she walking into Kylo Ren's chamber instead of Hux or Phasma's? He was sitting up next to the wall, his head in his hands.

"Get up,"

"What-"

"I have been up for nearly twenty four hours and when I hear that you're still in your chambers it puts me in a really, really bad mood." He didn't budge.

Time to change tactics. 

Understand. 

Kylo eyed her as she sat next to him, cautiously. "Is this about earlier?"

"Yes,"

"The guilt." Guilt was something she hadn't felt until Lumiya's death. The other padawans who converted to the First Order. "Of course," There is always a distraction to forget guilt. If not for a little bit. To get the mind working. "I can't tell you it will get any better, because there is a chance that it won't."

"Gee thanks,"

"But I can offer some form of help?"

Kylo lifted his head, his eyes looked so dark, so tired. Like her own. She could see in him likeness to her. And that, was something she hadn't seen in anyone else. She bit her lip, he got it. Physical, sexual comfort was the best that she could give him. And part of her felt bad that it was the only thing she could give him. "Can I kiss you?" 

"Yes,"

* * *

 Kylo was in a Jedi temple, voices swirling around him. 

"Your future is in peril..."

"What can I do to stop it?" He asked immediately.

"Nothing."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, you're a follower boy."

  
"Doomed. Can't defy the way others drive his fate."

  
"Hope, there still is."

  
The old man, his name was the boy's namesake. "These are my granddaughter's steps. And they are yours too." The floor of the Jedi temple cracked in two, and Kylo looked back. Understanding what he meant, Kira-no... Rey stood there. Her hand extended.

Rey would come back.

* * *

 

Kylo woke up in bed next to her. She looked so peaceful. The moment before her eyes fluttered open as well. "Did that help?" She whispered. He nodded and she got up from her spot. Shrugging  on her dress from yesterday and her high heels. "Good." Kira was about to go. The Knight of Ren was almost too tired to ask her to stay. He managed to grab her hand before she could leave fully. 

"Stay?"

Kira smiled, although bitterly, it reminded him of what she was before. It reminded him of Rey. "No," she said, "I'm not yours. I don't stay with anyone." The Empress twisted her hand free. "Call me later if you want. I have business to attend to."

* * *

 Kira had walked through the hallways with a smug grin on her face until the General caught up with her. "Where have you been?" He hissed. 

"What?"

"I've been trying to tell you my father scheduled a meeting and he's arriving here in an hour and where have you been?" Kira rolled her eyes and flexed her fingers. At the mention of his father, something had begun to ache.  _What's wrong with me?_

"None of your business, and you should've waited until you found me."

"I'm sorry but this is my father,"

"That old man can wait."

"Kira!"

"You ruined my mood, it's Empress."

"I won't have you disrespecting my family, Empress."

"Or what?" The two stopped in the middle of the hallway. Kira was so much shorter than him without heels, it was almost laughable. "What'll you do General?" She bit her lip and in spite of himself, Hux blushed. "Thought so. Now let's go get this meeting over with."

* * *

 

_She is ready. Waiting in the shadows, her knives sharpened, such as her wits. The Force is on her side. Revan and his followers are on her side._

_She is young, agile. Her memories black and filled with nothing._

_She does not mind this, as she shifts into the form of a political officer and takes her seat at a table._

_The Empress, merely four years older, should've been more impressive. No. As she sees her she is reminded of her great grandmother, Zam Wesell, who tried to kill Padme Amidala._

_Do not underestimate this woman. Not yet._

* * *

Brendol Hux was an older gentleman with the sour face of his son. There was something familiar about him, painfully so, Kira thought. 

She shook it off. "So, shall we begin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I would just like to say that I don't know when I will update this next. Lately I have been feeling really depressed and part of me feels like continuing life will be counterproductive, plus the chance I might have my phone taken, so I don't know...  
> I'm actually kind of scared. Among other things.  
> But hopefully I can work through this. I just... I don't knoe.


	16. Archetypes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Queen of no identity,"-The Archetypes, Marina + The Diamonds

Kira hadn’t remembered the last time she was surrounded in a room full of old white men. “Some times I really hate politics,” She hissed.

“Shut up and start talking to them,” The General replied.

“Shall we begin?” Brendol Hux had a sour stare. The Empress could almost see the disapproval seeping out of his eyes. “The Rebellion will die.” That earned some approving looks around the table. “Now, reports… what do we have?” 

"We have reports you have seized all of the Rebellions funds, what do you plan to do with them?"

"Invest in intergalactic market, watch their stocks drop and their supplies dwindle. Next question."

Another man stood. "We have word that the First Order has begun hiring a bunch of children and training them to be assassins." Brendol had said nothing. Kira was contemplating the point of him being here, despite herself she kept her mouth shut. 

"How reliable is the word?"

 The lights turned red, and then black. 

"I'd say it's reliable enough,"

* * *

 

_She was going to fight the Empress, and to be quite frank, she wasn't the least bit scared._

_The Empress will die. In the name of Revan, in the name of Wesell. Protect me._

* * *

 Kira tracked the source of the emergency blackout to a bridge in the energy department's building when she was assaulted from behind. A small weight on her shoulders, ramming her into the metal grating, a crack of electricity freeing her. "I thought you'd be taller." A girl hissed. 

 "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint. Now come into the light. Let's sit down and have a chat."

"I was sent to kill you, I'd rather not wait around. All due respect, Empress."

* * *

  _The First is primed, the dark will rise._

* * *

 

Three swift kicks and then she started using the force against the Empress. The only reason Kira hadn't snapped her neck already, was because her hood dropped midfight to reveal a child. Her eyes lit like hellfire.

"You're a child." She raised her arm, and Kira felt the chain of her necklace snap in half. The kyber crystals charged, and then sliced their way through Kira's replacement arm. "I'm an assassin, and you're not fighting back!" Kira fell backwards as she watched her robotic arm fall of the edge of the bridge. "My name is Amara Wesell," she said. "And I have killed you."she kicked her once more, and Kira remembered thinking one last thing. 

_Protect me._

* * *

Kylo saw her fall, he saw her spinning through the air, and he saw crash onto a grating after a slight falter in the force. 

He was only thinking one thing. _She can't be dead, she can't be dead, she can't be dead._ The Knight of Ren ran forwards to her body, trying to keep himself from panicking. Kira groaned as he picked her up and he sighed in relief. 

"Where's your arm?"

"Ask the bitch who cut it off." She slurred. Kylo looked up, seeing a bridge that had to be at least twenty stories above the two of them. And on it, a masked figure running. "Stormtroopers are on their way. My chest hurts."

"Let's get you to the medbay."

* * *

 

_The nice man in the white suit arranged for her to get off of Starkiller without penalty._

_It wasn't until she was a few systems away that she realized, The Empress wasn't dead._

* * *

 

Four weeks later and a new arm, Kira had fulfilled all her political duties and completely stopped talking to Kylo Ren, she had the technician-Mitaka- go and deliver all her orders to him. 

The lack of communication drove him a little bit crazy, and something else he didn't want to admit to. 

It ended up in him visiting his uncle, who was meditating in the middle of his cell. "Get up!"

"I thought you would never come." The old man sarcasm was just making it worse.

"Get up!"

"I do not take orders from you," He was still calm. 

He changed tactics. "I need your help," All of the sudden he felt like the boy who dealt with all of his uncle's admonishments and disconnection from his parents. Luke saw it and looked up at him, his eyes softening. 

"I am always here."

"I can't stop thinking about the Empress, she's cut off all communication with me, did I do something wrong?"

He was about to answer when the door to the cell opened and four stormtroopers as well as Kira filed into the room. "Well now you did." She snarled.

* * *

Kira felt numb as she watched Kylo shuffling in silence under the grasp of the stormtroopers.

"Can you call your dogs off?"

"Can you be trusted alone, Ren?" She shot back. He laughed. A bitter taste in his mouth and rage in his lungs. This was what he got for staying. This is what he got for trying to stay faithful to her. 

"So now you're talking to me? Really?" Not this. Not now.

"I was busy, politics."

"Oh I've seen you flaunting around with the General, you've been ignoring me, what did I do?"

"It's not your fucking business, Ren."

  
"You're acting fake, numb to everything ." He was right.

  
"I said it's not your fucking business!"

  
"Oh so you sleep with me and then you suddenly stop talking to me and it's not my business?" He was shouting. People were staring. Kira turned a shade of pink.

"Ren. We're in public."

  
"Oh, it's not like they didn't know you've slept with everyone on this metal hell contraption anyway."

  
"Did you just call me a whore?"

  
No. He hadn't meant to. "Maybe I just call them as I see them!"

  
"Oh, I can do that the same! You were a virgin nobody that nobody liked until I got my hands on you!" Kira had never felt so ridiculed before. "Nothing to see here." She growled at few people looking on, after they left she turned back to him.

  
"At least I'm not an attention grabbing-" he faltered.

  
"Finish the sentence."

  
"Person."

  
"Slut, whore, you're just scared because I slept with you once, and didn't feel like immediately flanking back to your side since." The truth was different. The Force had been treating her differently. She'd refrained from showing him weakness, the blood she coughed up after snapping a few political rivals necks... Weakness would not do in front of him. 

  
"I'm not scared of you." That stung

  
"Really Ben?" Kylo tensed at that name, "Because it seems like the only reason your so here is so your little wet Jedi dream and delusion will come back and suck you off! You don't actually want me! That's why I haven't talked to you! Because we have nothing to offer each other. I have nothing to offer you."  

"You think that's why I-"

  
"Get away from me," Kira had released one shred of weakness, Kylo had gotten under her skin. That didn't happen. She didn't get her heart broken. Not like this. "Kira."

  
"I don't want to speak to you right now," she spat. "And get out of my head too."

"Kira, please."

"Don't try." She sighed. Hux had a pack of cigarras and drugs waiting for her. She needed them tonight. 

 


	17. Lies + One Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chase began.   
> -  
> "The target is in position."

_She's still alive. She's still alive. The assassin didn't do her best, this time she would._

* * *

Kylo found her walking out of Hux's chambers, nearly stumbling over herself. She smiled when he caught her in both arms. "Well hello again," The Knight of Ren knew that look. The vacant, sexual staring. The slurred speech. She'd been drugged. Now he knew who was giving it to her. 

"Hey," he set her upright, trying to contain his anger.  _Had Hux taken advantage of her?_ That thought kept running through his head, but it wasn't her fault. "Is the General in there?"

"Shh." Kira said. 

"Huh?"

"I know what you're gonna do, that's very nice... but... just walk me back to my room okay? I have a lot...  just on my mind." He had to oblige, but he wasn't by any means happy about it. 

 They walked down the empty hallway, his arm supporting her back. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"I don't know," she answered. For the first time, her face looked truly worn down. "But that's none of your business anyway."

"My job is to protect you,"

"Protect my ass." She slurred. "I can handle myself." Something was different, her slurred comebacks didn't have the heart. It seemed like she was trying not to cry. They stopped by the door to her room. A moment of silence creating icy air between both of them. "Look... um... about earlier.. I'm sorry."

"What?"

"You heard me, I'm not saying it again."

"Sorry about what?"

"About what I said. About avoiding you. It's... not fair... and if you want... more... you could come in... with me." She was drugged. 

"No, not now."

Her face turned sour. "Ah yes, forgot you have principles. Bye, Ren."

* * *

Last night, when Kira walked into Hux's room, he made her beg for drugs, and then he delivered. Pumping her full of them to make that black hole in her head a little bigger. But something else had happened. The drugs were starting to be pumped into her body, and her head titled back. 

"How is my little project doing?" Kira jumped. Brendol Hux stood in front of her as his son stood next to the PCA. She tried to take the needle out of her arm, but he pushed her back into the seat. "Come now child, don't be insubordinate."  The Empress tried to speak, but her muscles were too slack, she couldn't move. Her vision was turning red, thoughts getting more rapid. "Good. Now, by the time this is over, you won't remember this visit. You will however," he reached out a gloved hand, brushing her lip gently as she fell into a deep sleep. His son tensed.

"Do what you need to do, father. Nothing more."

* * *

 

 Kira Palpatine hadn't visited Luke Skywalker in a while, and for good reason. But today, her guard lowered and her fighting skills slightly off kilter, she did. He was awake, of course. No doubt waiting for her. 

"We need to talk,"

"Or you need to talk at me,"

"Same thing, the question is, are you willing to listen?"

He looked up at her. "I am always  willing to listen."

Time to get out with it. 

"Someone's knocked me off my game."

"Oh?" She admitted to weakness. That in itself was hard, as Luke understood. 

"Yes. Um... and I've also been coughing up blood... and... I don't know what to do."

"Will  you accept my help?"

"On what terms?"

"On the terms that I get to speak to my nephew, on the terms I get to go back to my sister after this is all over. And you'll leave us alone."

She took it. 

"Yes. Thank you."

* * *

 

_Pathetic. Taking help from the very man that is the antithesis of what she stands for. She must die._

* * *

Ren saw her walking out of Luke Skywalker's chambers, more stable and invorgated than ever. _How's your day going, Ren?_

_Like you care._

_I don't. You're catching on. Now come on, I need your help._

_What?_

_Yeah. You remember the assassin sent to kill me._

_The one that pushed you off a bridge twenty stories high._

_That one. I found her home planet._

_What is it?_

_Coruscant._ There was a malicious smile on her face.  _We're going to take Coruscant._

* * *

 The Resistance is supposed to promote hope and the possibility of redemption, Finn thought. So why the hell is Leia Organa assuming that there's no way to get Kira back. He had to speak up about it. In the middle of the meeting, when slanders of the Empress's character were being thrown across the table he said it. "She saved my life," His voice was smaller than he'd intented. When people looked his way, he spoke again, "There might light in her still. She saved my life. Twice. And she doesn't kill children."

"That doesn't make her redeemable." An Admiral said. "Not by any means,"

"We've killed thousands of people, caused thousands of losses for the Empire. Does that mean we are not redeemable?" Poe said. 

"You talk treasonous-"

"What Finn says is true, I hate to say." His eyes said,  _we're going to talk about this later,_ "If we capture her, we should give her a chance. She might be useful. Don't want to kill an opportunity like that."

 "Han Solo is in place on Coruscant now, we'll get her when her guard is down. Maybe, Dameron, we'll listen to your advice."

* * *

 Han had only agreed to this for one reason, he wanted his son back. But there was still one doubt in his mind that hung eerily above him like a stormcloud. _How am I going to persuade him to come back after I left?_ No time to think. 

The smuggler shook his head. The Empress was landing, and boy did she know how to make one hell of an enterance.

* * *

 

Kylo knew immediately this mission was not about tact, not by any means. It was about destroying hope, it was sending a message to the people that were so lucky to catch Kira off guard as he often dead. 

There will be consequence. 

Moral or whatever shred of deceny she had was thrown out the door tonight. "Destroy everything in your path, Ren. Take your knights. And by all means, have fun." The danger had been such a rush for him, that now, the rush in his head and the momentary bursts of energy made him feel the equivalence of the highs Kira went to the General to get. 

"Stay safe."

"No mourners. "

"No funerals."

* * *

 

_She sits among a shrine, crude statues of her mother, Bastila Shaun, and Revan surrounding her. That was when the attacks started. She stared out among the streets and saw kids being taken away from their parents as their parents were shot._

_She felt nothing._

_She laughed, even._

_It was time for The Empress to die._

* * *

 

 "All is as the Empress wills it, and today, you all will fear me." Kira was high on the power of the dark side. So much so that when she saw Amara trying to shift through the crowd, she began running towards her. The chase was on. 

* * *

 

"The target is in position,   Chewie. It's time."


	18. Heartbreaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just don't get attached to, somebody you could lose..."- How to Be a Heartbreaker, Electra Heart, Marina and the Diamonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get dark.

Children were eviscerated, their bones snapping like twigs, Kira felt guilty for them, really. For the messy discombobulated grave yard they made. But the action was necessary, Amara was trapped. However before she even got to her, she felt an electric shock spiral down through her neck and her muscles seized. She dropped to the ground, and was shocked, not twice, but three more times. The last thing she remembered seeing was the face of the heathen, Han Solo. 

* * *

 Kira woke up three times before fully aware of her surroundings.

Once in complete darkness, the next in a cell, and after that a cell with water all over the floor. 

She knew this technique well. And when she was strong, she lifted her head to see Leia Organa on the other side of the glass. 

"You really are a thorn in my side, you know that?" Leia raised an eyebrow, turning to a table and pressing a button on a microphone.  

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"You're a hypocrite and a cunt, next question."

"Okay, just for that, I'm doing this." She pressed a red button and Kira seized again. "Now, I need to ask you some questions."

* * *

 

"We've lost eyes on the Empress."

"Don't let Ren know," Phasma hissed.

* * *

 Torture seemed to be a constant for Kira's life, except she was usually not on the receiving end... Change of pace. 

After four  rounds of questions about what she had stolen from the first rebel base and multiple pleas to give Luke and Ben back, they'd left her wtihout food for hours. Which was fine. She didn't care, her heart wasn't in it anyways. But that was only the beginning. 

* * *

 

Kylo could feel it. The pull to the dark. And then he could hear Kira scream in his head. And he felt it again. The pull to the light. 

Someone was hurting her, and that would not stand. 

* * *

 When Kira woke up again, the first thing she heard was General Organa's voice. It went on like this, fourty nine times. Over and over again the same questions, the same commands. Red began to flash before her eyes and something of a memory threatened to surface in her mind. 

She shut it down. But it was too late. The General was under her skin, and when she changed tactics, Kira wasn't ready for it. "You want some food?" The Empress nodded. 

"What do you like?"

"Food."

A small slot opened and some sort of meat and fruit in a water resistant bag was slid in. Kira scrambled to get it. Drenching herself in water. Shivering. She supposed that she looked like a small little kid, not worthy of torturing now. 

She hated it. Her stomach overruled her dignity though. 

* * *

 

Leia looked at this kid and saw the girl that used to ride on her husband's back while Ben pretended he didn't want his father's attention. 

She saw an not an innocent, but some spark of a girl that was still there, and she realized with sudden disgust that Finn was right. There might be a way. Even if it's highly unlikely, for her to be redeemed. For Ben to be..  "Let me take over for a while,"

"I don't need your help,"

"You need rest,"

 She relented. Hopefully, somehow, her son would forgive her for this. 

* * *

 

"What do you want old man?"

The ruffian raised an eyebrow. "I didn't say anything to you, and don't call me old man."

"I was just trying to engage you in conversation, and considering the fact that you're old and a man I think that title is more than fitting."

Han rolled his eyes, he was at least, a little kinder than Leia. Not electrocuting her every time she mouthed off to him. "I have to wonder, what happened to you kid?" By the look on his face, Kira knew the man thought he'd said too much. 

"I don't know," she said nonchalantly. "I really don't." Her heart sank a little at admitting this. But she did so anyways. "I don't remember much about my past," 

Han was biting something back. It was easy to see. But the Empress was too tired to ask. She'd rather just get electrocuted and die. Ren or Hux could take her place and she could take eternal repentance or damnation. "Why are you bothering with this anyways?"

"Huh?"

"With trying to get your son and friend back, trying to get the Empire to fall. You are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, and outplanned. You should be running."

"Never tell me the odds." 

* * *

 As far as the eye can see corpses lay on the ground. Kylo tread carefully, not wanting to step over them, but at one point, he remembered feeling something squish on the ground beneath his shoe. 

Only to find an eyeball flattened beneath him.  _Gross._ He wished he had a mask so his expressions wouldn't betray him. One of the Knights of Ren was staring at him to see what he would do next. Ren straightened his face, wiped his boot on the back of some dead guy's shirt and kept walking.  "We need to keep going. Split up.  Look for the Empress and report back to me when she is found."

* * *

 Kira was cold. Maybe the constant string of cusswords and insults that sent her seizing up in ice cold water was the cause. But she was getting tired of this. It was obvious she had underestimated Leia considerably, even Han Solo. 

She needed to get out. Her screams let them know she was weak. Maybe, just maybe, the Empress  could make it seem like she was acting. If not to convince them that she wasn't weak, to convince herself. Her idea hadn't cemented itself until she saw Finn walking down a hallway. It was the first time she had ever seen him truly, truly angry. The microphone was still on, so she could hear him loud and clear. "What the hell! Both of you have gone way too far!"

"Excuse me?"

"Leia, this isn't how we're supposed to do things. I went away from the Empire to get away from torture."

"You address me only as General."

"Oh give up the title bullshit Miss Space Princess. You're almost as bad as me. Admit it."

"No, she's still not."

"Oh come on Finn, flattery doesn't suit you." Leia turned to her and she flinched. 

"I'll shut up." Maybe... just maybe... 

"What have you done to her?"

_Some good electric shock therapy._

This was the last time that Leia, that Han, that Finn would see her as weak. The last time. She raised her hand, electricity crackling in her hand. Anger rose in her throat. Anger at herself for how offguard she'd been. At fooling herself into thinking she was okay. Anger at Kylo, at Leia, at Han and Finn, for getting under her skin as such. 

* * *

 

There was a loud crack, and before Leia could register what was happening. The power momentarily flickered in and out. And when it came back on, Kira wasn't moving.  _Oh god._ Finn voiced what Leia was thinking. "Did she just-"

"The Empress just killed herself.' 

 

* * *

 

_Fools._

* * *

The Empress was pulled out of her cell, and Finn tried to resuscitate her. None of it seemed to work. 

Maybe she was dead. 

Finn felt a mix of guilt and relief. She had killed so many. Her people were bringing havoc to the world. They seeped corruption into everything they touched. But in her last moments she went out with more of a whimper than a bang.

* * *

Kira had played dead. As they tried to carry her body outside she had to restrain herself from laughing. She was almost free. Although she'd purposefully weakened herself. Finn was the one to carry her part, and when he set her down on an uninterrupted patch of grass, she made a break for it. Scrambling to her feet and running, half stumbling down the hill. She could hear him yelling. 

She ran until her lungs tightened and the cold creeped in a little too much, dropping into mud and rubble. Bodies surrounded her. Mothers. Children. Fathers. 

_What have I done?_

* * *

_Amara didn't have to destroy the Empress, sir. She's doing that herself._

* * *

Finn went after Kira. Not to get her back. But to help her instead.

 

 


	19. Valley of the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara didn't have to work to destroy the Empress. Destroying Coruscant had destroyed a part of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The problem with history...

"Oh god what have I done," Kira choked. The cold around her bit at her and her water logged clothes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   _These are your first steps._

That voice was there again. "Who are you?" No answer. The Empress shivered, still out of breath. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Get up. You have much work to do._

"Reveal yourself."

"Kira!" She could hear Finn. But she was too tired to run. 

"If you try and capture me again, I'll snap your neck."

"Are you okay?" 

_What?_

Kira laughed. Wanting to lay down. "I have killed millions of people today and your question is okay? You don't even plan to capture me and turn me in as a pretty present for the Rebellion or the First Order, do you?"

"No, and my question is still are you okay?" Kira teetered and hit the ground again. Her clothes were torn and she couldn't feel her fingers as she stretched them again and again.  "No, the answer's no." Finn, the kind soul he was, rushed to help her. His breath coming out white due to the sudden cold temperatures. 

"Force, your lips are turning blue."

"Fashion statement, I guess." 

"No, hypothermia most likely." He took off his jacket and gave it to her. "I'm going to get some wood. Or at least something flammable." He looked back at the crushed city miles away. 

"Hopefully someone from your crew will find you and not me."

"They're under orders to kill anything that moves."

"Why?"

"To teach a lesson to a girl that tried to kill me. This was her home planet."

"I guess you taught her a lesson." He raised an eyebrow. 

"You disapprove."

"Yes, but I'm not sure you care."

"When an Empress is threatened she must make a statement. It's okay, I wouldn't expect you to know that. Now please. A fire would be nice..."

* * *

 

 Effects of hypothermia include delirium. Kira remembered learning that, at some point in her life. That's what she whispered when she began to say wavering blue figures rise from bodies. Some were older than others. Some didn't have faces. But their voices and cries were distinct and harsh, harsh enough to cut diamond. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _This is what you wanted, death and no reconstruction. No one will ever love you now. You're weak. Worse than your grandfather. Why couldn't we just live?_  

"Stop!" Kira screamed. "Stop! Okay? I get it." The trees and grass around her was smoldering. That didn't make them stop. The bones and loose flesh around her began to rattle as rolls of electricity began to roll throughout her body. Flames spread fast. These were unnaturally faster.

 

 

 

> _What make these flames spread faster? The anger. It's not anger reserved for everyone else. But for yourself. Weakling._
> 
> _Whilst these voices may be harsh they speak the truth._
> 
> _Please listen to them. You don't want to lose everyone. To lose the chance to be with people you could call family._

She stared right into the eyes of Anakin Skywalker, and realized that his eyes were much like Ren's. "I never had a family," Kira spat. "And I never will, because no one will ever love me. And that's fine."

 

 

 

> _My grandson may beg to differ._

"Shut up,"

 

 

 

> * * *

 

Kylo saw the more rural sector of Coruscant burst into flames. He knew exactly where to go.

* * *

 

 

 

> _You have killed so many in the name of someone who was created by evil men. You were created as a drug test, kidnapped and shipped to the Red Room where monsters such as you and Amara were born._
> 
> _You were created to strike terror into the hearts of men and take their hearts and eat them. You were set with hindrances so you don't remember your own power. But the more of us you kill, the less the hindrances weigh on you and the more we come to play._
> 
> _Revan, Vader, Sidious, Bane,_ _they all saw us but took our pleas in vain_
> 
> _We have  come to warn you of the path you're on. You are to be crushed and ruined by a traitor and his General son._
> 
> _Rethink your side, don't die in spite, rejoin  Ben,_
> 
> _Rejoin the light._

 

* * *

 Finn didn't have a chance to help her. "What the hell are you doing Finn?" Poe. Shit. "I know you know where the Empress is. She faked her death and you helped her."

"Poe, can we talk about this later?" Flames were starting to build an spread from the rural sector. Their tendrils spread and built quickly. Consuming everything in it's path.

"No, we need to talk about this now!"

"Poe!" Finn turned the pilot toward the fire. "More urgent matters at hand!"

* * *

 

Kylo remembered flames as a young boy, blasting everything in it's path. His first thought was Rey. She had been targeted by a monster known as Admiral Brendol Hux from the age of ten, when her Force had truly awakened. Six years later and their first home had been destroyed. Hundreds slaughtered. "Rey!" She'd been hiding in a closet, clutching a self made dolly in one hand and a knife in the other. He hadn't been able to save her then.

This wasn't Rey anymore though. Kira stood among the flames, tears flowing down her face. Electricity crackled uncontrollably and rickishayed off of her body. Rolling through the metallic buildings that still stood and creating more plumes of smoke through the air. He didn't think. He just grabbed her and started running, sweat at his brow, until they were nowhere near the fire, and Kira twisted her wrist free of Kylo's with such force that he nearly fell over. "I don't need your help." Her lips were blue and her cheeks hollowed out, deathly pale. She shook despite the heat. 

"Kira,"

"Get away from me." She screeched. 

"Kira, what the Force-?" The Empress started coughing. Her hand covering her mouth as she turned quickly. Kylo saw the pool of blood she had spit into her hand and knew... someone had tortured her. "Kira," She flung her blood into the rubble around her and began walking. Anger rose in Kylo's throat, "Kira I'm talking to you!" The rise in his voice made her flinch. 

"I'm tired. Now we need to get out of here while we can, okay?"

"Let me help you."

"I don't want you touch me."

"Who hurt you?" She turned, and for the first time, her eyes were gold. 

"I don't need you. I don't need your help. Now do as you are told and shut up, okay?"

She did this all the way back to the base, and Kylo hated every single moment, so much so that when she was back on her throne and healthy looking, still spewing insult after insult, he broke. "Enough!" The Empress nearly jumped. Phasma, Hux, the other Knights, they were all silent. Seeing if she was going to snap his neck. Kira merely cocked her head to the side.

"Everyone who isn't Ren leave. Now."

* * *

 

"How dare you talk back to me like that?" She hissed. 

"I won't have you insulting me for trying to help you Kira. Or telling me that you don't need me here!"

_Maybe if I say it enough, it'll be true._

"I-"

"Why am I even here in the first place? I have tried to serve you and be by your side but you always treat me as though I don't have a purpose. As if I'm just a toy." That was true, so painfully true. Kira could blame the fact she'd never been able to say nice things to people important to her, she could blame the fact that she didn't know how to tell this boy he was more than Hux, more than a plaything. She didn't know how to thank him. The insults came instead of the thank yous and the appreciation. It never meant she actually meant it. 

"You want to know why you're here Ren!" Kira stood up, shouted, despite herself. "Because I was lonely!" It came out too fast for her to stop. "I was lonely and in my screwed up mind I sensed your loneliness was similar too. So I took you and I corrupted you because I saw myself in you, and I wanted a friend, a romantic partner-" Kylo turned, heading out and Kira's heart dropped, "Ren? Ren where are you going?"

"Tonight you're not getting either of those from me, pathetic monster."

* * *

"Again?" Hux asked. 

"I don't care," Kira sighed as Hux unzipped his pants.

"What a good  way to get in the mood."

* * *

 

Her dreams were of him, not of the General. And with one stroke the General realized with a bit of horror, that she was finally bored of him.

 

* * *

 Love was not something that Ren was used to. But what Kira gave was not love. It made him feel something completely different and made him pace through his room for hours on end before finding his way back to her chambers. She opened the door, and he could see her face brighten at the sight of him. Her cheeks stained red. 

"I don't want love," she said. "I don't know how to do that and I'm sure that I don't love you."

"That's fine with me," Kylo picked her up, his gloved hands gently brushing against her thighs. Their lips touched, the softness of her mouth nearly melted him. At that moment hrr knew he was falling in deep. 

* * *

 

Ren woke up after a dream, shaking his head, his ears reddening. 

_Just a dream. It didn't really happen._

 

* * *

Kira woke up in Hux's bed, bored. She left him there and knocked on Phasma's a few halls down. "I'm bored," was her opening line. 

"Thought so."

Phasma knew Kira's very truth. Sex was a way to feel a little bit less lonely. A way to forget what you've said and done for just a small moment. 

"I'm reigniting myself," Kira said, her lips brushing against the Captain's neck. Phasma froze. The last time she said that, everyone on the ship had almost died. "It's time for me to rise again." 

 


	20. Someone Else's Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell me what you want me to say,"- No Light, No Light, Florence and the Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Slice his throat."

Kira had not talked to anyone in weeks, and that was completely fine to her. The dull surroundings around her and darkened hallways suited her needs, not the social life that being royalty often came with. She did not pay attention to the voices in her head, not the ones asking for her to reevaluate her stances, and not the ones that were telling her she was going to die if she kept making bad decisions, because she didn't care. This was the time for self destruction, and reinvention. In the Empress' eyes, one should reinvent themselves every few years. Just to keep the nations guessing. So here she was. Changing. It started with her hair. Long locks that had been put up in buns fell and were cut into a choppy bob that made her look all the more fiercer. The color? Red. To match the weird gold of her eyes. Their was definitely a change in that, maybe she felt the shred of confidence she once had returning to her, the corruption seeping into her soul. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _You're still not listening._

"You're not real," The Empress said simply. "So I'm ignoring you," And she did so easily. Ren was not a problem either. She did not lie her eyes on him and she was not reminded of her  _problems._

"I'll be gone for a while," She'd told him after awhile. Kira was glad he was wearing a mask. Feelings were not a problem. "The General is in charge. I'm giving you the job of chasing down some ... of Amara's living associates. We don't need them coming after us. The data has been transferred to your room. And please, don't destroy the base while I'm gone."

He merely cocked his head to the side and watched her leave. 

* * *

 

Ren hadn't spoken since Kira and him started fighting last week. She looked completely different now. A lot healthier. Like she was already over it. He thought of it as Hux bossed him around and made his life hell and as he prepared for the mission. The first associate of Amara's was based on a decrepit and primitive planet of Jakku. 

Kylo wasn't exactly thrilled. Sand was never his friend. Plus, the old memories that could arise were just too great. 

Relax. You can do this without her.

* * *

 

Kira took Luke Skywalker in her ship and skidded across the galaxy to Ilum. "Is this a joke?" Was the first thing he said when he saw the planet's outer surface. "You plan to step on the most sacred planet we have left, and defile it. I thought you had a little decency." 

"Am I really that predictable?" The Empress didn't mention that that was not fact, what she'd planned on doing. "I'm not going to be the one defiling it though, the people who've already defiled this planet have done it in the name of the Jedi. " 

"It is the Jedi's most sacred world, the Jedi would not defile it." 

"Yes, but... there's a certain girl by the name of Amara who believes she's part of this grand mission to reboot the Grey Jedi and kill me so in that she's been trying to get as many weapons as she can and what does she need for that?" 

"Kyber crystals." 

"Exactly, so I'm bringing you here so we can find them, take them away so she can get power and then get out of here. I don't want to be around you as much as you don't want to be around me, okay?" Luke shrugged, and Kira landed their ship on the planet surface. "Given the fact that your old and I'm not in good shape, we have two hours at the most. You go one way I go the other."

"We split up?"

"Which would you rather it be, me cracking your skull in because your annoying or me cracking my skull open after an encounter with Amara's people or Amara herself?"

"Neither, actually. Believe it or not Kira, I am not one of the Rebels that believes you need to die in order to achieve peace."

"Your sister thinks so,"

"In all fairness look what you did to her son,"  _That was true. She ruined him._ She ruined everything she touched.

"In all fairness, she did that to herself by lying to him. Now... let's go."

* * *

 

Ren had touched down on Jakku a few minutes after the chaos had begun. It wasn't necessary for him to kill anyone. Everyone was doing that bit for him. All he was here to do was look scary.  It seemed to be working at first. Until he noticed a Rebel pilot, and realized what Kira had sent him to do. This wasn't looking for Amara at all. This was about comitting more crimes against the Rebellion. 

 

* * *

 

Kira could hear them calling, the crystals. She heard them as soon as she and Luke split ways. She felt their pull and made her way into a mining tunnel covered by ice and snow. _Get some of the crystals, destroy the others._ She'd thought. Luckily no one was in the tunnel with her. The Empress wasn't very keen on getting into something in a room full of dangerous crystals that could easily cut her in two. 

They were resonating under the surface of the ice. Waiting to be used. 

Hands outstretched, she could almost feel strong again. The harsh winds beat down on the entrance walls, other than that, there was no sound. She could feel another presence in her mind that was not Ren's .  _You are not weak because of your losses._ Luke.  _I know that you view me as an old man who doesn't know anything, but at least take this advice from me. Please._

The ice that encased the planet almost breathed, like everything here was alive, hurting because of the First Order and Amara. 

* * *

 

Blood ran down the sand, and yes. It was all his fault. Grief and guilt filled his throat. This was all his fault. He didn't follow orders. He failed.

* * *

The wall of ice to her right cracked, and a large chunk of black crystal revealed itself. Self obsession, she knew these crystals well. Under her Force, the crystal itself cracked, sparks flying off of it as it crumbled to dust. Nothing useful in that, until she thought... one handful of the dust was put in her pocket and she kept going. Exposing more crystals. Destroying more. Keeping more. The glittering jewels were astounding. Every shallow part of Kira wanted to take them all for herself. 

 No. 

She had to do what she did best. She destroyed the tunnel. 

Some hindrance to Amara and the First Order was a good one. 

As she walked out from the rubble of her third tunnel, a knife whirred past her.  _Not again._ "Amara, if you're going to kill me, please try harder."

* * *

 Kylo didn't remember much after that. He remembered feeling a crippling sense of vertigo and then falling to the ground in his room. Slowly, blood dripped down the walls of his room. He turned, to see Rey's disjointed body lying next him. Her cheeks wet with blood.  His body was paralyzed in horror. 

There was only one thing left to do. 

Ride it through.

* * *

 

The chase was long and hard considering the terrain of the planet, but Kira and Luke found each other. "The First Order-"

"Amara-"

"How many on your tail?"

"Twenty, you?"

"Thirty eight," Kira said with a hint of disgust in her voice. She could see masked figures gather around her and Luke. She bet some of them must've been the Padawans Gethzorian stole from her so long ago. "I'd never thought there'd be a day where I would fight with Luke Skywalker."

"There is a first time for everything." Kira took a lightsaber off her belt. His lightsaber. 

"Promise not to run me through,"

"Let's dance," They switched places. Their backs pressed against each other. Lightsabers ignited. 

In order to get out of a circle of fifty eight heavily armed people, you must learn how people worked. Kira went for the weak link first. A smaller soldier who took in the smallest of breaths before he lashed out and attacked, she jabbed him in the throat, and pushed him into someone else's lightsaber. 

A snap of another few people's necks, and she was face to face with Amara again. "I really wish you'd died back there in Coruscant."

"I have a habit of disappointing people like that."

"Can you stop trying to kill me? I really don't want to kill you. Just call this off."

 Amara struck first, a blast of light firing rapid speed from a gun on her wrist. 

 

 

 

 

 

> These are your first steps, choose wisely.

The Empress adjusted her footing according to the terrain, and dodged until ammunition ran out. She knew how to beat Amara.

* * *

 

 "It's not real,"

He kept telling himself. 

* * *

 

 Luke and Kira switched places yet again, which undoubtedly annoyed Amara. Kira knew that Amara was used to her fighting style, not Luke's. So they rotated like a clock. Kira snapped several necks at a time and Luke disoriented Amara. 

They moved again, just as Amara lost her footing, the Empress threw an elbow into her jugular and heard her head crack against the ice underneath her. 

She laughed. Blood wetting her cheeks. "Kill me," her chest tightened. "I've killed women and children, strung their insides up in my room. Strung up fathers in front of their children. I deserve to die."

"You just gave me an excuse." Using the end of her lightsaber, she swung it like a staff, smashing the assassin's skull in. "Goodbye, Amara."

* * *

 

She came home today. Kylo waited as best he could, a mask to hide the pain on his face. Phasma stood beside him, and he could tell she was staring at him. 

She knew. 

"Straighten up," she whispered through her mask. "The General doesn't need more ammunition to hurt you."

The Empress's ship landed and she got off. Looking royal as usual. In one hand she carried a sack, in the other her lightsaber. She gave the same mischevious smile, until she came across him. Something angry flashed in her eyes, and he'd wondered what was wrong.  _Who did this to you?_

_What?_

_I know what drugs do to people, who drugged you?_

_I don't know ._

_The General did, didn't he?_

"Everyone leave us," Her voice boomed above the rest, but her eyes were somewhere else. When every one was gone, they set back on him. "He will be punished. Come with me."

* * *

 

Kira sat on her throne and watched in amusement as Hux shuffled in, dishoveled by the stormtroopers. Kylo sat next to her, still sweating from the hallucinogenic Hux had given him.  
She held his hand, brushing her thumb gently in circles around his palm. He seemed to relax at that. "I have half a mind to snap your neck where you stand, General."

  
"What is this ab-" His mind clearly hadn't registered Kylo until now. Then he looked up to meet the Empress's eyes again. She was thrilled to see nothing but fear.

  
"But I think instead, we're going to stop those weekly visits, that's not it." She raised her hand, you must suffer the pain he is going through.

  
"Please allow me to explain," he doubled over. No longer able to compose himself and screamed in pain. Then passed out.

  
"Get him to the medbay!" She shouted at a stormtrooper. "And don't let anyone see that it is him,"

Once they all left, Kylo took of his mask and took a deep breath. "I'm tired," he said. The Knight of Ren watched the Empress's breath catch.

"Okay, you can go then."

"I don't want to go to sleep alone." Kira opened her mouth to speak but her throat caught. Her fingers ran through his hair, the more soothing the touch the more he wanted to tell her... No. "It doesn't have to mean anything, but please. Just... tonight. I need someone there with me. And not sex."

"I don't know how to give that to you, Ben."

  
"Just... please..."

  
"Fine, I will. For tonight. Tomorrow when the drug has passed, it'll be back to normal, when we were fighting."

  
"Does that mean you forgive me for walking out like that?"

  
"I don't know why, but it's impossible for me to hold a grudge around you."

* * *

 

If Kira wasn't there she was sure Ren wouldn't have slept. Four times he woke up cold and shivering, clutching on to her like he was trying to figure out if she was real.

She watched him from the bed as he got dressed now, his hands shook as he reached for his boots. He looked so damaged. 'Just how much did Hux drug him?' She thought.

"Hey," she rasped. Getting out of her bed, she kneeled down in front of him and watched him flinch. "Hey, calm down okay?"

"I'm sorry,"

"For what?"

"Being pathetic."

"Shut your mouth Ren," she grabbed his leg gently and pulled his boot on. "My general drugged you because you annoyed him, I call that pathetic."

She almost got a smile out of him. "I need help putting on my shoes,"

"Again, my general drugged you. This is the result." After she finished putting his shoes on she grabbed his hands, steadying them in hers. "Now today I have a meeting with some officers to go over what happened when I was gone. You can come with me, it's brief and if you have to, you can stay the rest of the day with me." She couldn't read him. She had no idea what to say and it scared her."I won't ever let that happen to you again, okay?" She didn't know if that was the right thing to say, until he kissed her.


	21. Like I'm Never Gonna Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rewind... I remember that night I just might.... rewind..."-Satisfied, Hamilton
> 
> "I wanna be a silk flower, like I'm never gonna die..."-Immortal, Marina and the Diamonds

Kira had no idea how fast she could fall for someone. Before this, she was able to see the end, able to stay unattached. It was her fault for making him this way, so much like her. She ended up getting attached to him. As she walked by him in the hallways, whether he was behaving himself or causing problems for her staff, she couldn't help but feel a flutter in her heart. It was so human. It disgusted her. She ruined it pretty fast though, as one did when they had something precious. 

There were whispers of the General planning against Ren, and with the way things had been going. Kira believed he was. That's why she ended up naked pressed against the wall of Hux's bedroom chambers. It wasn't pleasant any more. This was a vendetta now. "I'm going to ruin you, someday, General."

"Not if I do it first," That was enough.

"Tell me about your schemes against Ren,"

"I have a scheme against Kylo Ren,"  _Dammit._

"No, tell me what you've planned." she didn't like using mind tricks. Not any more.

"Assassin. Political meeting. It wasn't my idea,"

"Oh?"

"Yes," She watched him pass out on the floor and cracked her knuckles. Hopefully Ren wouldn't find out this happened.

* * *

 

Scratch that, hopefully he wouldn't be too mad. There had been a frigid silence between their connection for awhile, and she knew that all too well. She had created that silence when he pissed her off. She buried herself in work today, making sure production was going as usual and chatting with stormtroopers as they walked by in the hall. Anything to stop herself from having to confront him, to tell him what she did. But at some point or another it would all come down to that. Yes, he was in trouble and she needed to help him. 

So the only way to help him without talking to him first, find out when the hit was. 

_Oh._

She was meeting with Leia Organa and the Senate. Or whatever was left with it. 

He was her bodyguard. 

It turned out the only way that this was going to work out was if she talked to him. Kira had never felt this way. She had never felt guilt over this before, but the sinking pit in her stomach told her that something had changed between her and Ren. "Dammit," she whispered to herself. 

 

 

 

 

 

> _You are starting your journey. This will end up in the best way possible for you._

He was in his room, and when she opened the door she could smell the acrid smoke smell of lightsaber singed sheets and sliced metal walls. Slowly, she closed her eyes, preparing herself for the shouting match they were about to get into. "Ren?"  _You can do this, keep calm. Take a deep breath._ She walked in, hoping that maybe an authoritarian resolve could help her long enough to talk to him. But it melted the second she saw him, he looked so tired, the bags under his eyes let her know he hadn't slept. 

"Word spreads around really fast," She wished he would raise his voice, he was rasping, almost whispering. The worst- he didn't even sound like the news had come as a surprise to him. "I know what you did," But he didn't know the context. 

"Yeah," She tried to keep tears from brimming in her eyes, but so far it wasn't working. "Yeah, um... I don't know what to say... and I am sorry..." She turned when tears began to slide down her cheeks. "Yeah, that's all I can say. Because I am, but... bye... Remember we have a meeting with the Senate to try and negotiate trade terms to bring up their economy," 

"Are you going to sleep with someone to get your way there too?"

Low blow. 

She deserved it. "I'll see you tomorrow, try and get some sleep." 

* * *

 Ben didn't want to be anywhere near his mother. 

She lied. 

But then again, so had Kira. She had lied so many times, so this question remained yet again.  _Why am I here?_

Yes, because there was one thing Kira never lied to him about, and it was the fact that she was in fact a liar. The Empress was a pathological liar, and a psychopath, among other things. But she never painted a false security around Ben to later have her rip it away from him. So here Kylo stood, sitting next to her at a very weird and large shaped table of just twelve people who were all as far away from the Empress as possible. _Have we really killed that many government officials?_

 _I don't know if that's supposed to be a  rhetorical question or not, but the answer is no. I've killed that many government officials._ Kylo was glad he was wearing a mask. He didn't want to see his mother or even think about the fact that she might've been one of Kira's casualties in some alternate timeline.  

_You're not here to think, you're here to look like my muscle._

_Can you stop? I really don't want to talk to you._

_Yes... of course. I'm sorry._ That was a snap, he hadn't expected it come through so maliciously, but he could see her biting her lip in frustration and maybe... regret? As she listened to the political terms that people seemed to be throwing around. Not daring to raise their voice to her. This dome shaped room was weird. Even though no one raised their voice, every word echoed and made it even more annoying than Kira interjecting into his mind without his permission.  _Okay, I get it. But can you stop insulting me when I'm talking with second most annoying Skywalker in the galaxy?_

_And who's the first?_

_Dead or alive, you're about to tie with your grandfather._

* * *

  She knew he wouldn't understand this, and she couldn't risk telling him that there was hit on him. So she waited, only partially listening to the words of the Senate. She noticed that the General hadn't said anything for a while. Leia was more intent on watching the body language between her and Ren. 

Of course.

Focus. Someone just said something about the First Order supplying them with kyber crystals. "No, that's not going to happen." 

"If you're going to be insubordinate this whole time, we're going to have a problem." 

"Please," She hissed, "If you're insubordinate the whole time than  ** _we_** are going to have a problem. I your only hope, your economy is crumbling blah blah blah. I've heard it all before." The Senate was rigid.

_Click._

That was the sound of a gun, coming from someone sitting at the table of senate.

"Everyone get down!" She yelled. The plasma blast was headed right for Kylo, and on instinct, she shielded him, the both of them hitting the floor with a painful thud.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them. "That's why-"

"Yes, that's why." She hissed. Then a barrage of shots began to fill the room as leaders found the way to exit the room. "We need to go!"

* * *

_We are getting nearer to the Empress' reckoning. I can feel it._


	22. Rey, The Girl That Can't Go Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I got different voices inside my head, I wonder which one that they like best?"-Fear and Loathing, Marina and The Diamonds
> 
> A romantic picnic gone awry.

 

Kira had her mind made up about a lot of things, but Kylo Ren was not one of them. There was no doubt- something was there between the two of them. She could feel it, although she wasn't really sure that she liked it very much. The way he made her feel was… weak… vulnerable. If she lost him. That'd be it. That would be the point where she would just stop trying and let someone end her and feeling like that scared every part of her.

 

She and Ren had been all throughout the Illenium system and several others at this point. Adrenaline ran through her veins the more destruction she wrought, he was by her side and in a way, he was hers. The problem with that was the fact that Kira had no idea what to do with a man. Of all the diamonds she could have, of all the men and women she could conquer, he was it, and The Empress was hungry to conquer more. His lips felt like the only taste of redemption she would ever be able to taste, and she wanted more.

 

That was fine. She could sate her hunger for now. What she needed right now was to finish listening to the constant complaints of these men and women she had put in charge. Constant moaning about the rise of the First Order had seeped into the long hours of the day and Kira would kill to just get away right now.

 

“You’re stressed,” Ren whispered.

 

“I’m about to stab someone,”

 

“Calm down, Empress.”

 

“You know I hate it when you call me that,”

 

“Yes, but you’re cute when you’re annoyed.”

 

“I must be gorgeous right now,”

 

“You’re always gorgeous,”

 

“-and our money that we stole from the Rebellion has been going down do to defending ourselves from attacks against their ongoing-”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I have a surprise for you, thirty minutes. You just have to sit through this one meeting. Can you do that?”

 

Kira smiled and stared at him, on a throne by her side. This was fitting. “Yes,”

 

“-we need a better plan-”

“Take it up with the General, if he’s not doing his job then you have my permission to snap his neck. NEXT!”

* * *

 

There are few places that monsters can find beautiful, few places that they haven’t ravaged by fire or corrupted with black holes and shrinking hearts. He had managed to find one of those places. He hadn’t told her where they were going or told her what he was doing, she’d only figured out that part when a pair of droids with large baskets came up to them, and Kylo picked them both up.

 

She could smell breads that had just been cooked, and what was that? She opened one of the baskets, her mind full of curiosity. “Did you get me chocolate?” Ren smiled. One where his dimples were showing. One that she rarely saw.

 

“Thought you could use it,” Kira couldn’t help but grin in the process, they walked down a trail surrounded by greenery and purple flowers, two of her favorite colors. Everything was so peaceful. There was no way in hell that she could ruin this.

* * *

 

 

Kira placed her hand- her real hand- on his wrist. She didn’t let go until they reached the spot he was satisfied with. A hill that overlooked a lake. The sun shone down on the water and everything seemed perfect. She was perfect in this moment. “God, I didn’t know you had this in you.”

 

“Thanks-? I guess,”

 

“Sorry, my attempts at compliments are rather lackluster.” He shook his head and opened the first basket.

 

“Don’t worry I’m not very good at it either,” Kylo hadn’t even had time to take anything out of the basket. She held out her hand and a bread roll went flying into her grasp. “Damn,”

 

Kira giggled.

  
“Sorry,” and between breaks, “I’m just… really… hungry…” 

“No, it’s good. At least you’re eating.” She nodded, then giggled once more.

 

“This is delicious,” Ren smiled. For once, he felt safe and like he belonged. They both ate until she started to blink wearily and rub her eyes. Laying her head back in the meadow of flowers they sat on. “Thank you,” She said, and then with one long yawn, she stretched out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was this tired.”

 

“You haven’t slept at all this week,”

“Yeah, is it okay if I just-”

 

“I’ll watch over you.”

* * *

 

 

_Everything was dark and the floor saturated in red, there was a sign, that read ‘Here lies what happens after your first steps’ on it. She followed the path._

 

_She needed to see._

 

_Ren was in front of her, but he wasn’t there like he was just a second ago. He was bent over, staring at the body of a girl that looked too much like her. Too much like- no. No. No. No._

 

_“You did this,” He said. “You killed Rey,”_

 

 _“No I didn’t,” With two steps, his mask had somehow appeared and he swung his lightsaber in a cruel arc. She turned before it had time to land, and was face to face with General Organa. She somehow stood above the blood-soaked room. “What are_ **_you_ ** _doing here?”_

 

_“My son,” She said, “did not have a good childhood.”_

 

_“I’ve heard this before,”_

 

_“He- he’s had issues ever since he wa a child. Behavioral things. He never really knew how to handle him and unfortunately we thought these things were due to the fact that he possessed great strength with the Force.”_

 

_“This is familiar, why is this familiar?”_

 

_She looked to her left and saw that the General was talking to someone. A small girl, with two buns in her hair, she wore Jedi robes. “Is that why he tried-?” The girl was choking up as she said it._

 

_“Yes, Rey. That’s one of the reasons why,”_

 

_“I thought I was helping him,”_

 

_“And you are, you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. This was not your fault I need you to know that. I want you to remember, this was not your fault.” This wasn’t her memory. Somehow this must be that girl’s. Rey._

 

_“Can you stop? I don’t know who you are or what I did to you but please- is it because I’m with him?”_

_“No, it’s because you’re not listening.” That voice was so much like your own. “Just listen to yourself, for once, and you’d find the answer. You would find satisfaction.”_

* * *

 

Kira woke up with a start. “What’s wrong?” He was so quick to jump to her aide. “Kira?” The Empress shrieked and stood up, hyperventilating this time. “What’s wrong?” She turned and began running. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe. “KIRA!” _What was wrong with her?_ Someone was laughing at her. All the people she killed were laughing.

 

“She’s insane and she’s dying! She’s going to die alone,” His voice was further away but she could still feel his presence in her mind and she hated it.

 

_Get out of my head._

 

Things were falling to pieces in her head and she didn’t know where she was or what she was doing, she felt like the first time she’d killed someone, not that she could really remember- _where am I?_ Before long she felt dizzy from all the running. Her throat was dry and she couldn’t yell. Ren was nowhere to be found.

 

This was the time to give up, to let everyone win and just die. She laid down and prayed for someone to come and kill her. The nearest bounty hunter could make a pretty penny off her head.

  
The laughing got louder, but this time it was one being’s and it was louder than everyone else. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she coughed, her body going limp in seconds.

* * *

 

_ The fall begins, and now you shall take the places needed to begin readying an attack. It shall come soon. The Empress shall fall.  _

 

_ Yes, Supreme Leader. _

 

_ Tell your son, that I will end him if he decides his loyalties lay elsewhere.  _

 

_ Yes, Supreme Leader. I will. _

* * *

__

 

Ren felt like he did when she first disappeared. Her presence was in his mind and the next it wasn’t. And he was alone. He didn’t like being alone. 

 

It made him weak. 

* * *

 

Kira woke up again and the voices were gone, but she wasn’t alone. General Organa, Finn, Poe Dameron, and Han Solo all stood in front of her. Instinctively she reached for her lightsaber, until she realized that Finn was holding it. “What-”

  
“We need to talk,”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the origins of some of these characters, such as Lumiya, is not how it happened in the expanded universe, it's just how I felt the story needed to be written.


End file.
